Somewhere in there, we had two birthdays, Simon started crawling, my mom flew in, we went to a baseball game, we had a birthday party, Roy's work got broken into, a skunk took up residence under our house, Simon turned seven months old and pulled to a stand (twice), and my mom flew back to Texas (with a cold).
What a ride.
My friend Kim was nice enough to send us an edible arrangement in response to my last post. Seriously, if this is what complaining gets me, I'm never going to stop.
Pretty! Yummy!
(Thank you, Kim. So wonderful of you!)
Things are getting better. I smiled as I typed that because I can hear Charlie in the next room throwing one of his mega nighttime tantrums. This is how I know he is better. And while I loved the cuddles we shared while he was sick, I'm so happy that he's back to his old sleep-fighting self.
There were some scary moments. His fever was like a metastasis, returning day after day. I would lie on the floor next to his crib at night, listening to him struggle to breathe. In my head: "This is YOUR fault. You didn't breastfeed him. If you had, he wouldn't be this sick. You are a terrible and selfish mother."
Love that mom guilt.
I'm ready to get back to normal life, whatever that is, ready for playdates and hanging out with my friends, going for walks, playtime in the backyard, reading and writing and art lessons, Monday movie night with the husband. I guess I'm even ready for laundry and dishes.
We have had so many bouts of illness since Simon was born. I wonder if this is just what it's like with two kids or if we are just so sleep deprived that our immune systems are incredibly compromised. We are going to be making some changes around here to give ourselves a boost. Boy, do we need one.
(But Simon's hair doesn't. It's awesome, yes? It just started doing that on its own recently.)
Tomorrow is Father's Day, and I doubt I'll be making an appearance in this space. I'll be with my family, and we'll hopefully all be feeling good enough to do something fun to celebrate the day. My own father won't be far from my mind, though, because he never is. Here's to daddies everywhere.
2 comments:
You should never think that you are a terrible mother because you didn't breastfeed charlie, you did the best you could in the situation you were in. I think every mother with their firstborn is just struggling to make it through those first days and the confusion of how to nurse a new baby does not help. It was a struggle every day for me to get Penelope to latch and it required the help of my mother every time, without her constant help Penelope would have been formula fed for sure.
I think you are an absolutely wonderful mother by the way. You are very inspiring to me.
You are super welcome dear. Have a wonderful week. Happy to hear everyone is starting to feel better!
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