Love Street: Five Months

Dear Charlie,

Today you are five months old.

It's bittersweet watching you grow. I'm so proud of the chunky little man you're becoming. This month alone you outgrew swaddling, your swing, your small diaper covers, your Bumbo chair, your infant car seat, and countless outfits. We have put most of those things into the garage and brought out your convertible car seat and high chair. There are big changes ahead. It's exhilarating and poignant.

This month you found your feet. You rolled over for the first time. You started sleeping better at night. (Thank you!) You started really noticing food. You pulled my hair a lot. You began sitting up remarkably well for your age. Your hair turned even more blonde; its redness is almost a thing of the past.

You absolutely love people. You are a sweet and charming young man. Everyone takes notice when you're around - you are insanely cute, chubby, drooly, and smiley. You enjoy babbling and sucking on your rhino friend's nose. You still won't take a pacifier - you spit it out almost immediately, causing your dad and me to laugh without fail. You do so many things to make us laugh. You make us so happy.

With each milestone you reach, you need me less and less. The world has become a very interesting place for you, and you don't need me to entertain you every second of the day. Soon you won't want me to hold you at all; you'll want to be down on the ground, eating dead bugs and exploring everything. And so these days I'm reluctant to put you down or pass you off to someone else; I want to drink you in, absorb the baby smell of your head, and feel you pull on my arm hairs to the point where I want to scream in pain. I live for the moments where you smile at me and stroke my hands with yours. I live for each and every moment, actually, because these moments are all we have.

So, kiddo, here's to another month together, another month of your fabulous life. You continue to touch the innermost depths of my soul without even trying. I know that my whole life I've been waiting for you - and that I am forever changed because of you. I love you so much, baby duck.