I like Photoshop, and I like lurkers.

It seems I am always the last to find out how cool certain things are.

(Click to enlarge.)



Also, if you're reading this, leave me a comment, won't you? I'm curious to see who reads this thing. I know from my handy-dandy site meter that quite a few people read this.

I don't bite, I promise!

24 hours in Vegas

Several months ago Melinda and I got involved in some discussion where I admitted that I'd never spent any time in Vegas (except for the airport, which apparently doesn't count). She immediately began planning a trip for us, so she could give me a proper introduction to the city. And what an introduction it was! Here's how it all went down (in mostly incomplete sentences).

Friday, January 11

Packed.

Slept horribly because I was in a horrible mood.


Saturday, January 12

Woke up at the ass crack of dawn and drove by myself to Melinda's house. (Roy drove up by himself later, because he had a class to attend.)

Rode with Melinda and her husband Chris to Vegas, stopping at Del Taco on the way.

First stop: Excalibur, our hotel. Too early to check in, so we started walking around.

Grabbed some lunch, but I can't remember where we were exactly. I want to say we were in New York New York. Anyway, other highlights, in addition to New York New York, were MGM Grand (cool lions) and the M&M store.

Went back to the hotel and finally checked in. Roy was due to arrive any time, so we went to our separate rooms. Once he arrived, we took a nap and got all rested up for the night ahead.

Had dinner at Quark's Bar, a Star Trek themed place. Very interesting place, but most of it was lost on me, as I'm not a Star Trek fan. Gals had steak (awesome), boys had prime rib (not so good). We all shared a very large, yummy drink called a Borg Sphere. Buzzing good at this point.

The best piece of conversation at dinner:

Me: That sucks big green ones.

Chris: Hey, that was for St. Patrick's Day, and I asked her to do it.

I really don't know if anyone is going to find that funny, but I thought it was hysterical (and still do).

After dinner, drove to Fremont Street. "Sinners" running rampant here; religious people everywhere as well. Interesting juxtaposition. Also, a drunk 50-year-old lady playing air sax with her straw from her drink. Bitch was crazy.

Watched the overhead show there, which turned out to be a giant LG ad. A definite meh moment. And then we left. And then it got really good.

Caesars Palace! Paris! Bellagio! Wow, I was in heaven. Heaven that smelled like cigarettes and was way too expensive, but still - heaven. I was quite intimidated by the expensive stores in Caesars Palace and Bellagio, being as I'm just a little gal from Texas who doesn't really give a crap about name brands. I was definitely a window shopper, but I truly loved how beautifully designed the insides of these stores were. Amazing chandeliers - and I don't even like chandeliers!

And the architecture of these buildings really blew me away. I mean, seriously.

The best piece of conversation in the Caesars Palace mall:

Me: Let's go into Tiffany's! I've never been in Tiffany's!

Melinda: Haven't you ever seen Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Me: No.

Melinda: No?! Everyone with a Y chromosome should see Breakfast at Tiffany's!

Chris: I haven't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Melinda: You don't have a Y chromosome, honey.

Chris: Oh.

(Funny thing, I just looked it up. And women have 2 X chromosomes, and men have an X and a Y. Whatever. You know what she meant!)

Anyway, somewhere in there, I was making fun of Melinda every chance I got for never having heard the song "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe. Awesome song.

Unfortunately, by this time we were all getting really tired. My feet were killing me. So we headed back to Excalibur, grabbed a midnight snack at the Sherwood Forest Cafe, and went to bed. I slept like a baby who has learned to sleep through the night.


Sunday, January 13

Woke up with just enough time to check out of our hotel and eat some breakfast at Luxor. Awesome breakfast + awesome waitress = happy people ready to hit the road.

Good tunes on the way home, home early enough to still hang out and do normal weekend things. An awesome weekend - thanks, Melinda!

(Note: I have many thoughts about Vegas that I might share in another post. Or maybe I won't. We'll see!)

Receive and Transmit, or The Secret World of Peter Gabriel

I came to love the music of Peter Gabriel when I was about 21 years old. I had heard some of his hits before, but I didn't really appreciate him until my ex (who was a huge Peter Gabriel fan) started playing me some of his lesser-known songs. The song that sealed the deal for me was "Lay Your Hands on Me". I found it to be an incredibly odd, dark, interesting song. I was hooked.

From there, I went on to fall in love with the Secret World Live and Up albums. I would dance around the living room while listening to "Secret World (live)". I would play air drums while driving and listening to Signal to Noise. As a matter of fact, I still do these things any chance I get.

Despite the huge amount of love I have for his music (and his humanitarian efforts, which are plentiful), I have only been to 2 Peter Gabriel concerts. I would love to see him live again, because he is probably the best performer I have ever seen. His shows are an amazing spectacle of lights and props. His lyrics make me shiver. The drums and percussion in his songs transport me to unknown places. His music is extremely innovative - he is always incorporating world music into his songs and trying new things. I have seen some great concerts, but the 2 Peter Gabriel ones I've been to were the best, hands down.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do without the presence of Peter Gabriel's music in my life. He really does keep it real and has had an enormous impact on my life. His range is incredible, and I admire his ability to try new things (and usually succeed). Moreover, I love how "weird" his music is. I think more musical artists should push the boundaries instead of just producing the same album over and over again.

Here's a video of "Secret World (live)." Enjoy!

6 months already?!

We have been married for 6 months today. That's half a year, people!

I'm not normally a person who takes many things for granted. I am, by nature, a reflective person, and because of that, I am always aware of how good my life is and how lucky I am.

This month, though, I realized that there are times when I don't give Roy enough credit. He does so many things just to make me happy, and while I'm big on saying "thank you," I don't know if I always acknowledge how grateful I am for his presence in my life.

He is, quite simply, one of the best people I have ever known, and I am so honored to be his wife. I am going to try much harder to give credit where credit is due. I really need to thank him more often for putting up with my craziness and for letting me be myself.

Happy 6 months!

Where I'm Going, Where I've Been

Before I recap my Vegas trip, I have some thoughts that I'd just like to get out there. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice, but if you have any, feel free to share, O wise readers.

At the risk of sounding both cheesy and egotistical, I have always felt that I am meant to do things that matter. I have always wanted to make a difference. Even as a child, I understood that my way of making a difference was through the written word. My teachers genuinely thought I was a very talented writer and encouraged me to no end. Everyone who knew me told me that I was going to be a writer someday. Everyone believed in me, and I believed in myself. I had big dreams.

And some things never change. I still have those big dreams, but I have given up on making them a reality. Maybe "given up" isn't the right phrase - instead, I should probably say that I have temporarily lost my way. When I was 20, I dropped out of college and began writing like mad (I was also extremely depressed, which really fed the writing fever). Eventually, I went back to school and got my BA. During those years, I continued writing (mostly poetry) and got some things published. I decided to start graduate school for several reasons: 1) If I am going to end up teaching, I would rather teach college students; 2) I love learning, and I love school; and 3) I didn't want to decide on a career right then.

Once I started graduate school, I stopped writing on a regular basis and instead focused mostly on my studies. As most people who are in theory-based programs can attest, grad school sucks the creativity out of its students, making them into automatons who talk about structuralism, liminality, and feminist theory. (I am exaggerating a bit.) And truthfully, part of me is so excited by the wealth of knowledge that is at my fingertips. But the other part of me is so burned out and so tired of forcing myself to write papers and meet deadlines.

I am in my third year of grad school, and I am no closer to figuring out what career I want to pursue. I think I would be a great editor, and it seems like a solid career. Many people have told me that they can see me as a college professor, but that's not how I picture myself (not at this point, anyway). I could do freelance writing, open a bookstore, work at a newspaper, and so on and so forth. While all of these things appeal to me on a certain level, I feel like I am running away from what I really want and the things that I am meant to do. (I am chuckling a little at that last sentence, because I'm not really a person who normally feels driven by destiny.)

At what point did I let go of the dream? It had to have been in high school - once I began thinking seriously about college, I was surrounded by people who wanted me to choose a career path. What's a girl to do when she can't follow her passion, when she is forced to choose something realistic? She begins to embrace a life of mediocrity, because that feels like her only choice.

And that is where I find myself at this point in my life. I have been standing at a crossroads for quite some time now, hating my job, wishing to be done with school, and looking forward to the weekends so much that I don't really enjoy the present moments all that much anymore. I have seen who I might become, and it scares me. I don't want to be the unfulfilled woman who hates her menial job and is bitter because of it. I just want to be happy with what I'm doing. I can accept that bullshit is going to come with any job (and anything else in life, for that matter), but I refuse to accept that hating one's job is a way of life and that I must work solely for the sake of making a living. Maybe that is completely naive of me, but at this point, I just need to believe this.

I don't think Roy realized that when he gave me my camera for Christmas, he wasn't just giving me something to tinker and play with. He gave me the spark of creativity that I have been missing, and in a sense, he gave me my dream back. With my camera, I have been able to capture pictures of the world as I see it (albeit usually blurry, unfocused, and badly arranged/composed). I have realized how happy I am when I am doing something that allows me to be creative. I have so missed feeling like this.

My goal is to keep taking pictures, to keep writing, to begin submitting my poetry for publication again, and to not deny myself my dreams. I am not sure where this road is leading me, but hopefully it will take me to a place where I feel happy and excited to face the world every day. Hopefully I will begin to feel that I have had a positive impact on the world and those who surround me as opposed to being an unproductive robot.

As Joseph Campbell said, all I really need to do is follow my bliss. Hopefully it will lead me far away from my current place of employment.

Vegas Madness!

Roy and I went to Vegas this weekend and had a great time. Here are some pics from our trip that I like - recap coming soon! I have a lot to blog about (not just this trip) and plenty of blog reading to catch up on.

Post full o' pics!