Happy Accidents

I was sorting through some photos from this past weekend, and I came across this one:



LOVE.

It's so technically wrong, but those kind are often my favorite. Everything else about it is so right.

I enjoy the art of photography immensely. It's still something I'd like to improve on and learn more about, but a few weeks ago I finally had the courage to say out loud that I am okay with not pursuing photography as a possible career, as a way to make money. I think I've been pushing myself to "do something" with it, and with that came tons of pressure. I don't want the pressure. I want things to unfold as they are supposed to, unforced.

So I've gone back to taking pictures solely for the sake of enjoyment. If people want me to take pictures for them, I am happy to do so. But gone is the pressure to start a business, to create a blog, to network, to perform well. This way I can make mistakes; I can be an amateur; I can photograph what I want to.

I suppose someday I might want to make my love of photography into a career (never say never, after all), but until that day comes, I am content with photography for its own sake. And wouldn't you know it, saying that makes me feel so incredibly free.

Self-Portrait Outtakes

I've been busybusybusy editing a whole lot of photos. In my travels through my photo archives, I've found some interesting attempts at self portraits.

September 2008



September 2009



The first one was taken right at the beginning of my pregnancy, hence all the blemishes. Oddly I don't cringe when I see this photo, even though I am definitely not a beauty queen in it. (And who am I kidding? I'm not a beauty queen anyway.) I suppose I could have edited out the red spots, but I'm actually okay with them being there.

The second one was taken the day after I got a haircut, and I was trying to capture that "I'm so pretty, oh so pretty" feel that I always have after getting my hair did. (Which seems to magically wash away with the first shampoo, I might add.)

I got a tripod and wireless remote from my brother-in-law for Christmas, so it looks like now's the time to start on that self-portrait project that I've spent the last two years dreaming about. My reasoning? Well, I usually hate photos of myself, mainly because in them I never look the way I imagine myself to look. So I think I'd like to take some to show the world the ways I see myself, if that makes sense. Not sure when I'm going to kick off this project of mine, so in the meantime, here is a flickr set of some stunning selfies, especially the ones towards the end.

Anyone else out there considered doing a self-portrait project?

Flowers in My Hair

So yesterday I finally edited the rest of my photos from our babymoon to San Francisco last February. Don't ask me what took so long. But I'm glad I waited, because looking through the photos was like being in the center of the magic again.

A few favorites:


























And then yesterday evening, I came across this wonderful post celebrating SF, and it all just felt like fate or something.

For those of you who have never been to San Francisco, get thee a plane ticket and GO! It's an amazing city, one of my favorites. I'd love to spend a month or two there, just exploring and writing and taking photos. And while I'm not really a city girl at heart, I think it'd be fun to live there for a year or two, and then retreat to a farm house somewhere in northern California or Oregon.

Twinsies + Twitter

I took some maternity photos for my friend Cynthia and her husband Jose back in September. You may recall that I wasn't really thrilled with how their pictures came out. So I asked them for another shot. And while they did like the first batch of pictures I gave them, I really just thought they were okay. I wanted to give them some that I loved as well.

So we met up just before Thanksgiving, and I brought along some fun pink balloons.

(Cynthia is pregnant with twins and is going to have those sweet little gals at the end of this month. So exciting!)








I'm pretty happy with how the photos turned out, although every time I look at them I think about what I would have done differently. I don't suppose that is a bad thing, though, just more of a recognition that I have a lot of room for improvement.

***

Also, just because all the cool kids are doing it, I'm on Twitter. I need some place to collect all my random thoughts that seem to leak out of me all day long. Anyway, let me know if you're on Twitter, and I can follow you and you can follow me and what fun it will be with all of us tweeting and twittering all day long.

I Turn My Camera On

One thing I never leave home without is a camera of some sort, usually my point and shoot since it resides in my bag. This week my little ol' camera has witnessed some wonderful adventures.

Chuckles and I both wore layers on Tuesday.



Charlie and my grad school buddy Adam bonded. (I love Charlie's hair!)



I met this sweet dog wandering around.



The moon was gorgeous last night.



Charlie hung out with his Aunt Mandy.



I saw this on a mailbox.



Today while I was sitting in the county recorder's office, this cute couple got married! I was so excited when I saw them accompany the Justice of the Peace into the adjoining room. When they came out, I asked if they wanted a photo, and they very happily answered yes. I was so grateful I had my camera with me!



Now I need to email those crazy kids a copy of their photo, because no one should be without a photographer on their wedding day.

So tell me, aside from the normal, boring stuff (keys, wallet, phone, etc), what do you never leave home without?

A Dozen Pink Balloons

Yesterday morning, right before I woke up, I dreamt of my high school guidance counselor. We met again for the first time in many, many years, and her face lit up when she saw me. She hugged me so tight that it felt like she was saying goodbye, not like she was saying hello. Charlie, our little alarm clock, woke me up while I was in the midst of that dream, so for most of the morning, I felt lethargic and heavy.

When it came time for Charlie's nap, I put him in his crib. It was our second day of sleep training for naps, and things had not gone well the first day. Things didn't go so well for this nap, either, and each time I went into his room to soothe him, his poor little red face just sent knives into my heart. I ended up in the kitchen slamming things around. I am not a person who normally deals with anger or frustration in this way, but when it came to Charlie's crying, I just wanted to break every dish in the house. We called off the sleep training for naps right then and there. It's one thing to let him cry and have it actually alleviate the situation. It's quite another when the crying doesn't lead to sleep.

By the time I got to my chiropractor appointment, I felt absolutely drained. My chiropractor and I had a discussion about several big, huge, emotional things going on in my life, and I ended up blubbering all over her while she hugged me, just like my guidance counselor had in my dream that morning.

After that, I was seriously ready to buy a container of chocolate ice cream and crawl under the covers and stay there for the rest of the day. But every day deserves a second chance.

I headed out to Claremont for my photo session. I picked up a dozen pink balloons on the way, and they almost instantly brightened my day.



I carried the balloons around with me as I walked around downtown, scouting some good places for photos. Many, many people smiled at and talked to me - all because of the balloons.

I had been really, really worried about this photo shoot. I was doubting my ability to pull it off, but the creative juices were flowin' and I ended up rockin' it. It helps that my friend and her husband had worked with me before; they were very accommodating to my requests.

(My friend is 32 weeks pregant with fraternal twin girls - hence the pink balloons. She looks gorgeous, and I am so, so happy for her.)

We had a great time exploring the downtown area. Then we went into a children's clothing store and it was all over. I ended up buying a lot of stuff, including some furniture for our house. The store is closing down, so they're selling everything.

I'm glad I gave the day a second chance. It ended up being a good one, and I'm pretty sure those pink balloons had a whole lot to do with it.

From the Archives: Fall 2008

I found some photos from this past fall - they are so fun!

This one is from when I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, and Mao was still a new addition to our household. Here she is cuddling with my bloated belly:



These are from a project I started (but never finished) called 30 Days of Husband. These were all taken right around the time I found out I was pregnant (as you can tell from the first photo). I ended up abandoning the project because I was too sick and tired to finish it.









Some pretty flowers:



Kerwin's eye:



Going through old photos is fun (and time-consuming)! I will probably share more of my findings as I uncover them.