These Happy Golden Years*

I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.**


And so this is love:

Its inception,





Its promise,





Its vows,





Its commitment,





Its life,





Its realization.





Now my heart is full.***

I am more in love with you now than I have ever been. You are all I ever could have hoped for in a partner. Thank you for loving me and our son so completely and selflessly.

Happy second wedding anniversary, my heart. You make me so incredibly happy.

-----------------

* - Laura Ingalls Wilder
** - Pablo Neruda
*** - Morrissey

Happy Date-iversary! / Ten Things I Love About Roy

Four years ago, Roy and I went out on our very first date.

By the time we met, unrequited love and I were really good friends. As a result, I was a cynic. I didn't believe in "the one." I didn't believe that I would ever get married because I didn't see myself as the marrying kind. And I sure as hell didn't think that anyone would ever really love me the way I really needed to be loved.

I had my heart locked up in a small metal box. I didn't think I knew how to love unconditionally. I didn't think I knew how to love at all. I thought I would always be alone, no matter who I was with. To me, love meant limits and walls. It wasn't a beautiful thing - no, to me, love was dangerous.

Imagine my surprise when this unassuming young guy with striking blue eyes took me out on the most awesome first date ever and actually called me the next day. Imagine my delight when he did indeed call me the day after we first had sex. Imagine my joy when he told me three short weeks after our first date that he was falling in love with me. Imagine my shock when I realized that I felt the same way with absolutely no reservations - and it felt completely safe.

Imagine that.

Our relationship has not been anything close to resembling a fairy tale. And neither was our first date. When he took me out that first time, he didn't bother to clean out his car, he wore some ratty jeans and a T-shirt, and he ran out of money. He made no effort to be anyone other than himself. I loved that about him - I still love that about him. I think he's amazing. I think he's real. I think he's made me a better person. I think that he's my best friend and the only man I've ever been with who has ever really loved me. I think that he's the only man I've ever been with who I've been able to love without reservation.

In all honesty, I think he's absolutely perfect. And I think I knew it four years ago when we went out on our first date and I got drunk on apple martinis while playing pool. I'm so glad he called me on March 11, 2005, and asked me out. That phone call changed my life.



Here are ten things that I love about my Roylet:

1) He gives me permission to feel what I feel. If he catches me apologizing for or questioning my emotions, he always tells me that it's okay to feel the way I do. I have never had a single significant other who was able to do this for me.

2) He's flippin' adorable. Seriously, it does not get any cuter than Roy. It just can't. The world would be in serious trouble if it had more cuteness to reckon with.

3) He tells me he loves me all the time.

4) We don't fight (in the normal sense of the word, anyway). We get irritated with each other every now and then, of course, but our "fights" get solved so quickly that they don't even really feel painful most of the time.

5) He wants to make me happy.

6) He is going to be a wonderful father. I have seen this quality in him since the very beginning, and I have always known that his children are the ones that I want to have. I know he's scared of screwing up, but I also know that he's going to be absolutely amazing as a dad.

7) He keeps me interested. I have to admit that I have always had a wandering eye and a mind that goes off to really kinky places that don't necessarily involve the person I'm with - if you couple this with my genuine curiosity and my own pathologies and dysfunctions, I have not always been on the straight and narrow path in my past relationships. But Roy is able to keep me so emotionally secure and protected that everyone else in the world simply pales in comparison. (And I'm sure that the fact that I am much more mature than I used to be is also a factor in this as well.)

8) We are fully honest with each other. This is something I had never experienced in a relationship before. It's very freeing to know that I can tell him any damn thing and know that he will still love me.

9) He's affectionate. He hugs me, holds me, and gives me kisses. He does things to make me laugh. He doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning because he wants to be with me (and vice versa).

10) He has really challenged my assumptions about people and especially men. Roy has renewed my faith in humanity. He is just such a good person that being with him makes me want to be a better person. I am so honored to be his wife.



The four years that we've been together have undoubtedly been the best of my life. I'm looking forward to a whole lifetime of happiness with the cutest husband ever.

Happy Date-iversary, behbehs!

Of Marriage, Downtown, and Love Letters: Day Two of Our Anniversary Trip

Monday was our official one-year wedding anniversary. The three of us started off the day by going back to the Global Market for lunch. This time we actually got to order the pizza we wanted. Afterwards, we took a walk down to the park near Wade's house. It was quite pretty, because it was all green and quiet. We walked around the lake and then stopped and rested a bit on this concrete stage-like thing. I laid on my back and stared up at the trees. The light was falling on the leaves perfectly, and a gentle breeze was blowing. I decided that it needed to be captured on video (even though the video ended up being pretty boring).



Afterwards, Wade drove us to the Grand Hotel in downtown Minneapolis and dropped us off for a night of lavishness. (Thanks for the rec, Kim!)





We had decided that our anniversary night needed to be extra special, and the Grand Hotel certainly made sure we were well taken care of. I loved our room. The bed was amazing. So comfortable!





You'll notice that the bathtub has its own TV and the toilet has its own door.









We hung out in our room for awhile and then ventured out to explore the downtown area.



We ended up in the nearby Nicollet Mall, and it took us forever to find actual stores. During our search, we sat down and had some ice cream from Cold Stone. I hadn't had any in a year or so, so it was a really nice treat. When we finally found the stores, we were kind of disappointed by the selection.

Roy decided that he wanted to find a bookstore (which suited me just fine), so we followed our noses (and green Barnes & Noble bags) until we found it. I found a book of love letters that seemed appropriate for the day, and I sat reading it on the second floor facing the street. It was early evening at this point, and the streets were relatively quiet. I felt very calm and happy to be sitting there reading those very private letters on our anniversary in a lovely, lovely city.



While we were in the store, my mom called at 6:30 PM and said, "Do you know what you were doing a year ago at this moment?" I thought it was so sweet that she remembered the time when we officially became husband and wife. We talked for a bit, Roy and I made our purchases, and then we went back to our hotel.



My original plan was for us to have a nice dinner out, but we decided to stay in, order room service, and watch a movie. We watched Made of Honor (it had to be a wedding-related movie), ate our yummy room service food, and later ordered dessert (a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a banana split). Although it was really low-key, it was a wonderful evening.

(Psst - The below pictures are awful. I took them without flash with my brother's point and shoot, and they were really dark. I tried to fix them in Lightroom, but they just look noisy. Oh well.)





The best part? Our disgustingly sappy declarations of love to each other. Roy and I are always good at telling each other how we feel, and we do it often. But we said it a little more and with a little more oomph on our anniversary. Cheesy ol' me even shed a few tears. I am so very, very lucky.

One Year

I, Leslie, take you, Roy, to be my husband, in equal love, as a mirror for my true Self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy.

Roy, I choose you today and every day, for the rest of my life.

I have already given you my heart. Now I give you my life.



One year ago today, Roy and I were married.



We had a beautiful evening ceremony, and a simple, fun reception immediately following. Our wedding was not stylish, lavish, or over-the-top expensive. But it reflected us (and our bank accounts), and that's what matters. I wouldn't change a thing (except a couple of our vendors).



I've been doing a lot of thinking about what makes a marriage. And I've realized that it's not just the two people in the marriage; it's family and friends and the rest of the world that impact this most sacred of relationships. I am so lucky to have a wonderful support system, because it helps me to be a better wife and friend to Roy. And my support system also makes for a better me.



This year has been wonderful, and it's also been hard. It feels like I've lived a whole lifetime; I have definitely evolved into a slightly different version of the girl who got married on July 14, 2007. And this new person loves her husband even more than she did on their wedding day.



I am so excited to see what the future holds for us. There are so many good things in store for us; we will take them and hold ourselves up and together during the hard times. I feel that anything is possible with Roy by my side. He helps me be my best self and loves me when I am at my lowest. He is my love, my heart, and my life.



I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Our Last Monthiversary

Today we've been married 11 months.

This is not our last monthiversary, but it's probably the last one I'll write about on here. Soon it'll be our one year anniversary of being married, and it seems a bit silly to keep up the monthiversary tradition past the first year mark. What I'd like to do instead is celebrate our marriage every single day by doing simple things like saying "I love you" daily. It's often the little things that really add up and count the most. We have always been good at both the little and big things, and as the months and years go by, celebrating and respecting our union, I feel, will be what will hold us together...forever.

Oddly, I used to not believe in forever. I thought it was a silly concept, but it just goes to show that people can and should challenge your assumptions. I love how life has always managed to surprise me - one of the greatest surprises has been Roy. Imagine such a kind-hearted, gentle soul like Roy loving a neurotic obsessive like me. It's really wonderful to be married to someone who embraces all of my qualities. It's the best feeling ever, actually. And I am the luckiest person in the world, not just because I am married to Roy, but because I married into his family who has always accepted me as one of them.

Sadly, this weekend I am out of state visiting my mom and uncle, and Roy stayed home due to the high cost of airfare. But even though we are apart today, I am still celebrating us. My vow is to always celebrate us.

I love you, hubsand. Forever.

Triple Whammy

Okay, so today I have a triple whammy celebration going on.

1) It's Mandy's birthday! She is 31 years young today. Happy Birthday, Mandy!

2) It's the two year anniversary of our getting engaged! I haven't told our engagement story on my blog yet, so maybe I'll do that one of these days.

3) It's our tenth monthiversary! I won't lie: this month has been challenging for me. This is the first month where I've thought, "Hey, this marriage stuff isn't so easy sometimes." We are good, but there have been times this month that I've felt some tension and distance between us. Roy and I are complete opposites, and we don't know how to handle each other sometimes. However, I think the fact that we are opposites is a big reason why we are such a successful couple. We really do complement each other, and we respect each other's differences. Every marriage has its ups and downs, and frankly, there's no one else I'd rather experience those with than my cute li'l Roylet.

So, yeah. Today is a happy day.

Happy Birthday, Roy!

Today is my husband's 29th birthday!

I took a picture of him yesterday and everything just for this post, but I forgot to upload the picture before I left for work. So here's an older picture of us; I believe it was taken in June 2007, shortly before we got married.

Anyway, 29 years ago, Roy was born! What an awesome day that was. I myself was still in the womb and wouldn't be making my appearance for another two months and five days. I wonder if I sensed then that my future husband had just been born...

Happy birthday, Roy! You are truly my hero and the most important person in my life. You've taught me how to love and why it's important to live life. I am so honored to share your life with you. Here's to many more birthdays and much happiness!

Three Reasons to Celebrate

1) We have been married for eight months today.

2) Three years ago today, Roy and I went out on our first date.

3) One year ago today, I quit smoking.

I had a long blog entry about all this planned, but this week has been super stressful and emotional for me on many levels. So I took a mental health day today and am also celebrating making it through hard times with my wits intact. A big reason for this is Roy, who is truly my hero.

I would like to talk more about these things, particularly quitting smoking, but I'll wait for another time when I feel more inspired.

Romance is in the air...

We had an amazing weekend, and one of the best parts of it is that it's a 3 day weekend (for me, but not for Roy). We kicked off Saturday by attending Roy's aunt Ruth's 50th birthday party. Ruth is a Valentine baby, so the theme of the party was, of course, all things Valentiney.




We convinced everyone to have cake before lunch, because we couldn't stay long, and once I found out it was red velvet cake, I was dying to have some. It was so good that I had 2 pieces! Then we had some lunch, and with our tummies full, we drove out to the Morey Mansion Inn for our romantic night of Victorian decadence.

As I said before, I have been admiring this house from afar for years. It proved to be even more amazing once we got there and went exploring. (I ended up taking about 400 pictures of the house and grounds, and I will be sharing some of them in future posts.) After a couple of hours of wandering around and then resting, we got ready to go to dinner at Les Rendezvous. I felt very stylish and stuff in my special ensemble.



Les Rendezvous is a French restaurant that Roy and I have gone to together a couple of times, all for special occasions (the last time we went was almost 2 years ago on the night we got engaged). The food is excellent, the prices are high (to us), and I have never left unsatisfied. We ordered a bottle of Riesling, and I really enjoyed it. I am not a wine person, so I'm always happy to find something I like.



We started off with the scampi au pernod on toast, which is what we always get for an appetizer when we go there. It is so amazing! I don't have any pictures of the scampi, because we just dove right in, like this:



Finally, I came to my senses and took tons of pictures through the rest of the meal. I had my big ass camera with its big ass lens out, and hopefully everyone thought I was a food critic. We were both transfixed by one server who was constantly playing with fire, as he prepared a spinach salad dressing tableside.



Before dinner, I had a salad with the incredibly tasty house dressing (some kind of vinaigrette), and Roy had the vichyssoise, which was also incredibly tasty. And then it was time for the main course. I had ostrich a la echalotte (ostrich in a shallot and brandy sauce), and Roy had filet mingon with bernaise sauce.



I'd never had ostrich before, and I was pleasantly surprised to find out how yummy it was. Roy's filet was amazing as well. We took our time eating and savored every morsel, and of course we saved room for dessert. I had chocolate mousse, and Roy had chocolate creme brulee.



Was it awesome? Hellz yeah!



One of the waitstaff members took this picture of us.



And we took these pictures of each other. I think they are so cute.



At this point, I was so totally stuffed, but I was cold also. So we went through the Starbucks drive thru and got a white chocolate mocha for me. It pretty much sent me over the edge, and after I drank it, I was uncomfortably full, almost to the point of nausea. We laid in the uber comfortable bed in our room and talked for awhile and then decided to go to sleep. I did not sleep well at all. I had forgotten about the train that runs through the canyon near the inn, and so I was awakened at least once every couple of hours by a train whistle. I also think the late-night coffee had a lot of do with my not sleeping well too.

We woke up early and went downstairs for breakfast. Janet, the inn's proprieter, made us pancakes and fruit.



Her dog, Lady, was so cute and totally knew it.



Janet was a very gracious host, and she spent a lot of time talking with us about the history of the Morey Mansion. I so wished my uncle Charles (who is an architect) could have been with us, because the house was truly amazing. Everywhere we looked, there were breathtaking details, stunning woodwork, and charming knick knacks. Staying there was worth every single expensive penny. It's amazing how one night out of our element really helped us reconnect, slow down, and appreciate the basics: good food, relaxation, and love.



Now we are back home with the cats, the laundry that needs to be done, the dishes that need to be washed, the homework that needs to be completed, but we are better people for having done this for ourselves. Further posts (full of pictures) will prove this, I promise.