April 30, 2007

Be careful what you wish for...

A year ago I was completely obsessed with finding a "real job," so I could quit waiting tables and do something more respectable. I thought having a "real job" would make things clearer for me, but apparently not. Some part of me will probably always be wondering what I'm going to do with my life.

I've come to the conclusion that the most important things to be learned aren't learned through an institution such as a university, but by living. I used to think that I wanted to go for my PhD - now I feel like I will be lucky if I finish my Master's. I'm not sure why I'm going through all of this education if I don't know what it's for.

What do I want to do with my life? I'd like to make a home that's ours, travel, take long walks. I'd like to start writing again. I'd like to learn new things, such as painting and photography. Someday I'd even like to have kids.

I suppose that sometime in the future I will look back on this time in my life and realize how much easier it was. But it doesn't feel easy right now. However, I am still aware of how lucky I am to have a wonderful husband-to-be, great friends and family, and the world around me.

That was an incredibly cheesy closing line, but there it is.

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