A Very Halloween-y Post

I love Halloween, but it seems like I always have something going on that day. This year it's both work and school, although to her credit, my professor is letting us out an hour or so early. Here's my homage to the spirit of the day. No pun intended, of course.

I monsterized my name! You too can monsterize yours!



Zombie Photoshopping Contest



Deadly Cute Photoshopping Contest



And just because Roy's aunt is getting married today....



And lastly, words cannot express how much I love this video. What's not to love about a bunch of inmates performing "Thriller"? (One can't help but wonder what the recidivism rate in the Phillippines is after viewing this video.)



Happy Halloween to all!

NaBloPoMo

Try saying that 3 times fast!

So I've decided to attempt to participate in National Blog Posting Month, which basically means that I'm going to blog every day for the month of November. Thanks to Nanette for bringing this phenomenon to my attention. It'll be interesting to see if I'm up to the challenge.

The truth is, I'm blog-obsessed. I read blogs when I wake up in the morning and pretty much all day at work. (Don't tell my boss! Oh fuck it, he probably already knows.) Not only do I love reading them, I love writing in (on?) mine. It has made writing come alive for me again. Because of all the blogs I read, I am constantly inspired. And for a burned out student and underutilized employee, that means a lot.

So, who's going to join me? Who's coming with me? (I feel like Jerry Maguire when he lost his job.)

How scary is it that I just associated myself with a character played by Tom Cruise? Chills.

Do the iPod Shuffle

I got this from happy:blissful!, which is one of the coolest blogs I have come across in quite some time.

Here's how it goes. Put your iPod on shuffle mode and list the first 10 songs that come up, with a little something about each song. No skipping songs! (In case you're wondering, the picture on the right is a third generation iPod, which is the one I have. I actually had something before the majority of the population had it. This will probably be the only time that happens.)

Here are mine:

1) "Like a Prayer" - Madonna. I am not a huge Madonna fan. I listen to some of her music casually. This began in high school and not a moment before (although I was familiar with her songs before then because she was so popular). My friend Katie gave me my formal introduction to Madonna when Erotica came out, and I later used BMG Music Service to obtain Madonna's The Immaculate Collection. Speaking of, I can't believe BMG is still in business! I wonder if their collection agency is still after me....

2) "Triad" - Tool. This song reminds me of being in some kind of machine shop. As a matter of fact, when I hear it, I think of the movie The Machinist. I highly recommend that movie, by the way, but I don't think it's for everyone.

3) "You Trip Me Up" - The Jesus and Mary Chain. You know how you'll buy an album off iTunes sometimes because it's cheaper than just getting all the songs you want? Well, that's definitely the case with this song, because I don't really like it all that much - I just wanted all the other songs that came with it on 21 Singles. It just sounds screechy to me, and it definitely reminds me that it's time to go through my iPod and do some weeding.

4) "Help Myself" (live) - Dave Matthews Band. Oh, how I love DMB. Oh, how this song pales in comparison to some of their other songs. However, the album this song is on (The Central Park Concert) reminds me of the time when my ex and I first split up a few years ago. In anticipation of moving out, I put a ton of his CDs onto my iPod, and this was one of them. I listened to portions of this album quite a bit while I was moving out and during Christmas that year (which immediately followed).

5) "Hell is Chrome" - Wilco. This song came to me by way of my friend Christian, who moved to Seattle in August. He let me copy several of his CDs before he left, and A Ghost is Born was one of them. Listening to this, I feel like I should be in a blues bar, chain smoking and drinking gin and tonics. Oh, and I absolutely love the title. Every song should have a kick-ass title.

6) "Wasted" - Mazzy Star. Yet another song from my high school days. This is a good song for a striptease/sex scene in some black and white filmnoir-type film. And it's definitely a far cry from the intoxicating "Fade into You" that I (and probably so many more) used to listen to as a teen in my bedroom with all the lights out. Mazzy Star is teenage angst at its finest.

7) "Tell Me I Was Dreaming" - Travis Tritt. I'm not a big country fan, but this is a song that has so much sentimental value to me that I can't bear to part with it (plus, it's not bad as far as country music goes). When I was 15, an upperclassman at my high school died. His name was Jeff. I was just another girl in the hallway to him, but I always recognized him and knew who he was. Even though we'd never been introduced, I went to his funeral with my friends Katie (who I mentioned before) and her sister Bonnie. This song was played there. It was his favorite, and it was eerie how well it described the feelings of loss that we all felt at that time.

8) "Not Too Late" - Norah Jones. I am not a big fan of Norah Jones' newest album, Not Too Late. I think most of the lyrics suck. This song is simple and pretty though. It's a good heartbreak, unrequited-love song. Those are always good, because there is always something to relate to. The lyrics aren't stellar, but they're not painful to listen to either.

9) "Be Aggressive" - Faith No More. First off, Faith No More will always remind me of the girl who sat in front of me in my sixth grade Social Studies class. She wore Faith No More T-shirts quite often, and back then, I couldn't figure out what it meant. I, being the dork that I was (and still am), didn't know Faith No More was a band. Fast forward to high school (why do so many of these songs reflect back to high school?) and I really got into Faith No More's albums Angel Dust and Introduce Yourself. "Be Aggressive" is one of my favorite FNM songs because it just rocks. Plus, it's so surreal to hear a funeral-like pipe organ-type thing combined with some wacky cheerleaders screaming, "Be Aggressive! B-E Aggressive..."

10) "Devil Got My Woman" - Skip James. I seriously have no clue how this song got on my iPod. It's a blues song and feels like it should be playing over some movie montage about drug addicts. That's about all I can say.

Whew! That was fun. I'm surprised that none of my guilty pleasures came up. I have my fair share that include Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, Another Bad Creation, Bell Biv Devoe, Sir Mixalot, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, and so on.

Oh, and here's the website where you can go download Radiohead's new album for free.

Condom Song

There's nothing like a little safe sex demonstration. Thanks to Boing Boing for bringing my attention to it.



Love it.

Art, Lies, and Truth

I found this really cool website that sells little known prints for a reasonable price. I am stoked! I love the well-known masters, but I also love art that gets very little exposure. Of course, it has to be good for me to love it (even the masters).

Here's the first print we're going to buy (by Kelly Shimoda):



I love it! It's both dark and whimsical, the combination of which is probably pretty hard to pull off.

While I'm sharing, here are a couple of prints that we already own. The first is by Paul Biddle, and the second is by David Hockney.





While I'm on the subject of art, there is a Salvador Dali exhibit at LACMA until January, and I absolutely cannot wait to go see it.

Long live art, the lies it tells, and the truths it reveals!

One Hell of a Week

I am so happy that this week is over. With all the fires, my own issues (videographer, name-changing, work, etc.), and the death of Bryce, I found myself a complete mess at work this morning. Everytime someone asked me what was wrong, I started crying. This was after our power went out this morning and I didn't get to take a shower. And this was after my normal 20 minute commute took over an hour due to downed power lines on the freeway.

After being unable to control my tears for about 45 minutes, I decided to leave for the day and came home. I watched some TV on DVD, ate a grilled cheese and fries, and drank a Dr. Pepper. Our cats laid in bed with me and kept me company. I needed that, all of it.

I am aware of how fortunate I am. I am so lucky to have my health, my husband, family and friends, a home, a job, an education, and so on the list goes. Sometimes, though, the world overwhelms me.

One good thing: we got our footage in the mail today. See, there is balance in the universe.

Untitled

For the life of me, I don't know what title to give this entry. I actually had a completely different blog entry in mind for tonight, but this is so much more important than my new haircut.

Bryce Brown died today of metastatic melanoma. When he was diagnosed in July, he was already Stage IV. Yet he and his wife Tammy decided to fight for his life. They fought until the end, as a matter of fact. It was so inspiring to read their story on their blog. They taught me about the things in life that are really important. Somewhere along the way, I got extremely attached to them. And it all came out tonight when I found out the news via another website - and I just bawled. I couldn't help it. I am devastated for his family - and for the rest of the people that suffer from this horrible disease.

I hope whoever reads this will keep Bryce and his family in their thoughts. I'm sure his wife would appreciate comments on his blog once she posts something about his passing. Just consider paying forward the kindness.

RIP, Bryce. The only thing that makes me feel any better is knowing that there's no cancer where you are.

What I Would Have Done Differently Had I Known My Videographer Was Running a Soft Porn Business on the Side

1) I would have carried a triple-headed dildo around instead of a bouquet. (Looks like all my florist drama was for nothing!)

2) As my friend Vince suggested, I would have had my guests all wear black leather.

3) I would have had a stripper pole instead of a dance floor.

4) I would have worn a bikini instead of a wedding dress like Pamela Anderson.

5) I would have hired a cuter videographer since I probably would've slipped away with him to the bridal room for a sexual romp right after the ceremony.

Confused? Well, here's all the explanation you need: I just found out our wedding videographer does another kind of videography.

It's only 7 in the morning, and I already need a drink. Cheers!

Nothing but UGH.

Today hasn't really been a great day. Aside from the fact that my face is breaking out, there are 3 major things in the works that could be going better.

1) My videographer issue. Things have not improved since my last detailed post on this matter. I did end up sending the threatening "I'm-going-to-report-you-to-the-BBB" email and giving him until Friday, October 19 to get us our footage. We still had not received the footage by that day. Roy called (he had to call from different numbers to get the videographer to pick up the phone) to see what the deal was, and he was told that the footage had been mailed. Of course, he wasn't given a tracking number. We still haven't received our footage, and frankly, even with all the fires and road closures, it should be here by now. I am pissed beyond belief because I feel like this guy has completely taken advantage of us. He doesn't respond to emails anymore, and as of today, he's not responding to calls. We will take him to small claims court if we have to. We don't want to, but we will. I would much rather this whole thing just be over, but I refuse to let this liar get away with this.

2) Changing my name. I went to the Social Security office today with our marriage certificate and the certified copy of Roy's name change document, fully prepared to start the process of changing my own name. Turns out that I can't change my name that way since Roy's old last name is on our marriage certificate. Now I have to see if we can get our marriage certificate amended. If not, I'll have to change my name through the courts like Roy did, which will cost us about $400. What sucks is that I saw this coming and urged Roy to get started on his name changing process way before the wedding. Much as I love him, my hubs is a huge procrastinator, and it drives me up the effing wall sometimes. But the past is the past, and there is nothing we can do about this now but roll with it, even if it ends up costing us another $400.

3) My potential new job. Today my HR contact was supposed to meet with the hiring committee to review my resume with them. She was supposed to provide me with an update afterwards. But apparently they didn't get to meet today, so I'm no closer to knowing if the job is mine. Hopefully there will be news tomorrow.

So that's my day. I am so looking forward to not having class tonight (although I hate the reason for it), going home, and watching Supernatural and One Tree Hill, my latest acquisitions from Netflix.

100th Blog Post!

This marks my 100th post since starting this blog approximately 6 months ago. When I started this blog, I wasn't really a blog stalker. I looked at mostly wedding photography blogs and really was clueless about the amount of blogs out there. One night in April, I ran across my professor's blog and really enjoyed the way she added photos and videos to her writing. At the time I was erratically writing in my MySpace blog, which doesn't have nearly the amount of cool features that Blogger has. And so my blog was born.

Since then I've come to realize how major of a phenomenon blogging is. It seems like everyone, their mom, and their cat has a blog. I'm sure for some people that it's just something they do because everyone else seems to do it, but who cares? People are writing and enjoying it! Not only that, people are reading! I think blogs are a magnificent invention for this reason...and of course, for many others.

I have kept a journal my whole life, but during my wedding planning I really began to lose the drive to write in it. I was working full time, attending classes, and planning a wedding. Writing things down in a journal is extremely time consuming, whereas I'm a very fast typist. So keeping a blog was a natural progression for me. Because it doesn't take an extremely long time to write out a blog entry, I can write more often. Also, because I know I have an audience (however small it may be), it encourages me to write more. So, as long as I don't get entirely too personal on here, blogging is totally a win-win situation.

Enough about me. There are so many amazing blogs out there. Currently I subscribe to 89 of them through Google Reader, so I get my updates all in one place. Here are a few of my favorites:

BoingBoing
BSC Headquarters
dooce
FunnyCute
Illustration Friday Night
Bryce D. Brown
Lag Liv
Notes from Different Spots
Offbeat Bride
Passive Aggressive Notes
PostSecret
Powell's Books
Vazaar
Weekly Shot

That list doesn't include any people who I actually consider real life or online friends, by the way. But it's a good taste of the bloggishness that's out there!

Happy blogging, folks!

Fire, Fire Everywhere!

This is a satellite image of the fires burning in Southern California right now. It's pretty scary and sad to think of all those affected. I have been affected indirectly, as there is a fire burning near my school. Classes for the entire week have been cancelled. Naturally, I'm thrilled - but at what cost?

Here's hoping that everyone out there stays safe and out of the line of fire. (No pun intended.) I hate that these things happen. I can't imagine losing everything I own or having to pick what belongings to pack. This is all so very sad.

The Search for the Perfect Dress

It was approximately a year ago that Mandy, my mom-in-love, and I went shopping for a wedding dress for me. I had already been to David's Bridal twice, and while I found some dresses that I liked well enough, I hadn't really found the dress that made me feel like a million bucks. I was doing tons of research online and was having a hard time finding a dress that was simple yet beautiful. Then I happened upon the Watters & Watters website and fell in love with this dress:



The above picture was not the original picture I saw. The picture I saw showed the dress from behind, but it didn't show the front. I did some searching and found a picture of the front of the dress on eBay. It looked so low cut that I figured it wouldn't work out. I had saved it to my favorites on the website, but I moved on and found some other dresses that I loved.

I had 2 particular Watters styles in mind when the 3 of us drove out to Jaclyn's Bridal in Orange County. I tried on both and liked both of them but neither of them aroused any major feelings in me. I started browsing through the racks, accidentally found my first Watters favorite, and tried it on. I loved it. I wouldn't say the world stopped spinning, but I did feel beautiful when I put it on. The only way I could express my feelings was to say, "I like this."

And that is how I ended up with my beautiful wedding dress. Looking back on it, I am so incredibly glad that I didn't buy any of the dresses that I bought at David's Bridal. I am also glad that I didn't let my judgment about the dress being low cut keep me from trying it on. My wedding dress was so me that it felt like it was made for me. While it was low cut, it gave me some nice wedding cleavage.

I was just thinking about the Great Dress Hunt of 2006 earlier and realized that a whole year had gone by since I found my dress. Sometimes, just sometimes, I miss being a bride.



My dress is still hanging up in the closet, still dirty from the wedding day. I have no idea what to do with it. Sometimes I want to put it on again. Sometimes I want to do a trash the dress session. One thing I can't bear to do is to just have it cleaned and preserved and stuck in a box. I don't want to put my wedding dress to rest. It feels a little like a funeral to do that to a wedding dress. I don't want my dress or its memories to ever die.

Cakes on a Plane

Today Roy, Jake (brother-in-law), and I went to a surprise 70th birthday party for Ace, Roy and Jake's Aikido instructor. The party was held on a C-141 plane at March Air Force Base. I'd never been to March before, so I was excited to see all the planes. This is the plane the party was on:



Here's the inside of the plane:



We basically sat around for a couple of hours and talked amongst ourselves. Food (pizza and fried chicken, both excellent choices for a low fat diet) and cake (also good for a low fat diet) were served. The food left much to be desired, but the cake was awesome. There were actually 2 cakes: chocolate and carrot. I had a piece of chocolate. I know what you're thinking - what about my low fat diet, right? Well, it would have been rude to refuse a piece of cake, right? I got no enjoyment out of it whatsoever.

I spent a good deal of time toward the end of the party watching an old lady who looked pregnant gulp down water and talk to herself. At one point she came up to us and seemed very happy to make our acquaintance, although we didn't exchange names. I felt really bad for her, because it was pretty obvious she wasn't exactly in her right mind.

Before we left we took a picture with Ace:



And I made an attempt to get some artsy photos out of our limited point-and-shoot camera:





I'm looking forward to the day when I have the use of a good SLR camera, a decent lens, and Photoshop. Until then, I'm going to practice with the trusty camera that we have now.

Dear Wedding Nonsense,

When will you be over?

Here's what's left:

1) Finish my thank you cards. It was so much more fun opening the gifts.

2) Put my extra stuff up for sale, which isn't as simple as it looks.

3) Pick out my album pictures, which is proving to be very challenging.

4) Do all the name-changing stuff.

5) Figure out what to do with the sentimental wedding stuff (garter, etc).

6) Get dress cleaned.

7) Kill our videographer. He only answers our phone calls now if we call him from a number we haven't used before. So if I ask if I can use your phone, that's why.

8) Figure out what to spend gift cards and cash on. This kind of makes up for the videographer.

9) Talk trash about our videographer to everyone I meet.

Random Pictures on my Hard Drive

I was looking through my photos tonight and found some random pictures that I've taken. I took the top 2 with my old cell phone and the bottom 2 with our camera.

Me, Vegan?

I'm still in the midst of the aforementioned Skinny Bitch. Wow, was I ever clueless and uneducated about how animals in slaughterhouses are treated, not to mention the amount of crap that makes its way into our food. Methinks it's time to cut out some things for good, namely red meat, chicken, pork, fish, eggs, and dairy. Oh, and my personal favorite, sugar.

I am a rabid consumer of all of the above, so the trick to doing this is to cut one thing out at a time. I'm starting with red meat. No more red meat after this weekend. Then I'll move on to another one of the vices. This is going to be so hard because I'm going to have to learn about a whole new way of eating. I'm just used to grabbing whatever, but now I'm really going to have to think about it. I just keep repeating to myself, "Using my brain and good sense is fun!"

Who would've thunk that a meat-and-potatoes Texas transplant would be facing this dilemma? You could call it irony, but you'd be wrong.

Skinny Bitch

I started reading Skinny Bitch tonight. I'm only 3 chapters into it, but I like the way it's written. It's good motivation. I've already learned so much. I hope to put this knowledge to good use.

Due to recent doctor visits and finding out about my high cholesterol, some serious changes are in order. I have already made a great deal of progress in cutting way down on caffeine and eating more fruits and vegetables. But there is still a long way to go on the road to becoming healthy. I need to change my entire diet and develop an exercise regimen. Yep, I still haven't tackled those monsters.

Looks can be deceiving. Almost everyone who sees me tells me how small or skinny I am (although I don't get these comments nearly as much as I used to). I can still count all my ribs, and my hipbones are still the main thing holding up my pants (although I do have a booty). But I weigh about 142 pounds, and I do have flab and cellulite. I have to admit that my weight is distributed well, and thus I don't see the need to lose any poundage. I do see the need to firm up though, because in the last few years (especially in the last year), I've really softened up. I think, like so many, that I secretly was expecting my extremely high metabolism to hang around forever. I was considered underweight until around the age of 24. I could eat anything I wanted and not worry. It's time for me to change my way of thinking in that regard...and in so many others.

I just want to be healthy. I really do. I have truly been neglecting my body for years, and only recently I've realized that I only have this one body. How sad for me, knowing how many years I may have taken off my life by being ignorant and careless.

I'd like to be/remain a skinny bitch too. Oh, the vanity.

It's Blog Action Day!

Today is Blog Action Day, where bloggers devote a blog entry to environmental issues. In honor of the occasion, I'd like to talk about recycling, which is one of the easiest ways to help with our declining environment.

I am a huge fan of recycling; I'm actually pretty obsessive about it (there's a shock). In addition to the extra recycling trash can that we have in our kitchen at home, I also have a recycling bag in my office at work. At the end of the week, I take home my recyclables and deposit them in our recycling bins. I hear from people all the time many excuses as to why they can't or won't recycle. One of the most ridiculous ones is that their apartment complex doesn't provide recycling bins (which they should, by the way). I understand that it's not exactly convenient to take your recyclables to a recycling center, but I think it's worth the small amount of extra gas and time that it takes to do so. I know from first hand experience: I too used to live in an apartment complex that didn't provide recycling bins. Guess what? I still recycled!

Recycling can help with the looming global warming issue. Yes, it is an issue. I'd like to urge the few readers that I have to watch An Inconvenient Truth if you haven't already. It's an awesome film. I even wrote a (probably boring) paper on it last year.

Happy Blog Action Day, everyone!

Why I Love engrish.com

Check it out.

Happy Birthday, Wade!

Today is my older (and only) brother Wade's 32nd birthday. Try as I might, I'll never catch up to him, but if I did, then he wouldn't be my big brother. Hope you have a great birthday, Wade! Don't get too drunk tonight, because I'm going to be calling you once I get out of class - but I might send you a warning text before. ;)

Happy Birthday!

3 Months Marriaged

Today we have been married for a quarter of year. It's not a long time, and you haven't even been in my life for 3 years yet. But I can't imagine my life without you. This morning I noticed how long and dark your eyelashes were. I'm sure I've noticed this feature of yours before, but this morning it felt like a new discovery. It reminded me that there will always be more to learn about you, that we as humans have undiscovered secrets hidden in us, sometimes within plain sight. I hope that we will always search for a little more truth and meaning inside each other.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. We'd been dating for approximately 3 weeks. It was Sunday, April 3, 2005. Your birthday was the day before, and we went out to eat dinner with your family the night before, the first of many to come. We were lying in your bed together, and it was getting dark outside. In one moment, I realized that I loved you, and I rolled over, as if to hide from the realization. I remember feeling torn, because I was so happy to love you yet so terrified of that love and its many implications. Tears sprang to my eyes, and while I was wiping them away, you said softly, "I love you." Imagine my surprise and happiness when you told me you loved me only an instant after I realized I loved you. It was one of the best moments of my life thus far. It felt a little like destiny, a concept in which I don't really believe.

This month we had a "fight" about our wedding videographer. I have to put it in quotes, because you're such a gentle soul that you don't fight with me. I was so upset with you - and then I realized I wasn't upset with you at all. I was upset with our videographer. And then I got upset with myself for hurting your feelings, because all I was trying to do was express my own. It's so hard to be human sometimes. I have a degree that focuses on the love of language, and yet I can't even say what I mean sometimes.

But now I can say this: that I love you, that I'll always try to do right by you, that every day I accept you as my husband and myself as your wife. You are my partner on my path. Every day we are marrying each other all over again. Today is only one of many to come.

Saturday Fun with my Sister

Okay, Mandy's not my real sister - she's actually Roy's sister, but we've developed quite the bond in the time that Roy and I have been together. I love hanging out with her. Today we took a cookie decorating class together in anticipation of baking for the holiday season. Our instructor provided us with naked cookies and taught us how to ice them.



It was really easy and fun. The most time-consuming part of the process was filling in the main color of icing. The instructor taught us how to make cool patterns in the icing using a toothpick. She also showed us how to make a cookie bouquet using a flower pot and florist foam. The cookie bouquet would make such a nice holiday gift. I may attempt it if I'm not too busy with school and other things.

Here's my finished product:



This one was my favorite. I used yellow icing to decorate the cookie and then added a gratuitous amount of orange icing. Then I used the toothpick to swirl the orange icing and came up with some fab cookie art.



After class we grabbed some lunch at Joe's Crab Shack and then went shopping at Victoria Gardens. I discovered the wonderful world of Urban Outfitters. I wasn't a big fan of their clothes, but I loved all the kitschy stuff they had in the store. I found a birthday present for my brother and a shirt for myself.

Then we ended our day together, and I came home to Roy. We've discovered Heroes. Roy and I aren't "normal" TV watchers. We don't keep up with shows as they come on because we have never had cable TV (and I also hate commercials). Instead, we wait for the shows to come out on DVD and watch one episode after another. TV shows on DVD is the best invention ever, I swear. Luckily, Roy and I are equally obsessed.

Anyway, as I said, Heroes is our new obsession for the moment. It's an incredibly fun and well-written show with all the touches of myth and epic that I so love in a work of art. Yep, I do believe that TV (certain shows) can be classified as works of art. And Heroes, so far, is one of those.

Found: Ticket to the Tower of London!

The other day I received my latest book courtesy of PaperBackSwap, and delicately placed between 2 pages was a ticket to the Tower of London (and the other piece of paper seems to be a receipt). What an awesome find for someone like myself who is travel-challenged. (I have been in school [and therefore poor] for so long that I have not done as much traveling as I want to.)

As stated before, I really love finding things that once belonged to someone else and were, for some reason, misplaced or forgotten. In the case of this ticket, I wonder what the owner thought upon seeing the Tower of London. What was the weather like? Was the book I got in the mail the book he/she was reading at the time he/she travelled to England? This lost/found ticket holds the key to at least one piece of information about its owner, and now that I have it, I feel a little more connected with this unknown person, strange as that may sound. I almost feel like it's a little sacreligious for me to have this ticket, almost like I should mail it back to the person.

But, nah. I think I'll keep it and use it as a bookmark. It's way too pretty to just toss. And I have a hard time getting rid of this piece of someone else's history, no matter how small and insignificant it may ultimately be.

On a whole other note, the weather is absolutely perfect today. Just the right amount of coolness in the air. Perhaps that's why I'm overly philosophical.

To Our Good Health

Roy and I both found out today that we both have high cholesterol. Our doctor told us we needed to start on a low fat diet, which, to be honest, sounds incredibly boring. I mean, what is life without loads of cheese and ice cream?

So it looks like some changes are in order. I have already been implementing some since we saw both our family doctor and dermatologist last week. The dermatologist told me to wear sunscreen everyday, which I've been doing faithfully. Our family doctor told me to cut way down on caffeine and processed sugar to help with my frequent headaches and insomnia. She also told me to eat many small meals throughout the day, which I've been good about as well. Oh, and to start an exercise regimen. Again, how boring. I miss being able to eat crap all day and still fit into size 0 jeans. I miss being able to eat fast food without being in the bathroom for a long time afterwards. It sucks getting old.

But today is the third day in a row without any caffeine whatsoever. Not bad for a Dr. Pepper addict. I've been doing well with my sugar intake as well. Again, not bad for a girl who could live off candy. Now I just need to cut down on the fatty foods and eat more stuff that's good for me. Oh, and that exercise thing.

Our Wedding Video

When we were planning our wedding, we didn't budget for a videographer. About 6 months before the wedding, I realized that it was important for us to have some sort of video. So I did the tiniest amount of research possible, met with one videographer, and booked him. We really didn't want (or couldn't afford, rather) all the bells and whistles, so we just asked for the raw footage. We did pay to have the video in DVD format though.

Our wedding video was ready 3 weeks after the wedding, as promised. I was a bit surprised that they did do some minor editing to it. It ended up being about an hour long and fit onto 1 DVD. There were a whole slew of problems with it. The ones that bugged me the most were 1) we couldn't hear our vows no matter how loud the volume on the TV was, and 2) the audio and video weren't synched, so almost our whole wedding video looked like some cheesy kung fu movie. So I emailed the videographer that same night and told him about the issues (2 of which I haven't mentioned, might I add). A couple of days later, he emailed me and told me that a new video was on its way to me. This was around August 21.

After about 3 weeks of receiving nothing in the mail, I emailed the videographer and then called him when I didn't get an answer. I sent him several emails asking if I could get a tracking number for the package so I could find out where it was. Finally, after not getting any satisfactory responses, I sent the following email:

Hello Idiot Videographer,

Since we have yet to receive our video or a detailed explanation from you, we have decided to pursue another course of action. We see no reason why we should not have been provided with our revised video (or at least an explanation or tracking number) by now, considering you confirmed through email in late August that you had mailed us a revised video.

For that reason, if we have not received our video from you by Friday, October 5, 2007, we will file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.

The following is a list of corrections you promised to make in the revised video, pursuant to the guarantee you made when we met with you and paid you our deposit for your services:

1) Not being able to hear our vows,
2) Audio and video being out of sync,
3) No footage of venue/guests arriving, and
4) Correction of name from "_____" to "______" on the video.

You also confirmed by telephone on July 13, 2007, that you would provide us with all of the footage (tapes) from our wedding if we wanted them, and we expect to receive that in addition to the revised video.

If you have already sent us the package with the video and all the footage (tapes), you need to provide me with a tracking number and the address to which you mailed the video, as I have previously requested several times, so that I may track the package. If you have not sent us the package yet, we are happy to meet with you in your office to pick it up.

It is unfortunate and unacceptable for us that we have paid you in full for the services you promised and that we have no idea of the status of our video. We would like to remind you that we have access to literally thousands of brides through www.theknot.com and www.projectwedding.com. We would like to be able to have something positive to say about our experience with you. We’re sure you would like that as well, as many of your potential future brides will be relying on these websites in their search for vendors.

Once again, we are asking you to provide us with the revised video and complete footage as promised by or before Friday, October 5, 2007. Otherwise, we will have no choice but to get the Better Business Bureau involved. We will be in touch with you by phone on this matter.

Thank you,
Roy and Leslie _______

That was all it took, and we got our video in last week (before the deadline we gave him). (I included my email because I'm proud of it and just feeling like tooting my own horn.) However, idiot videographer didn't include the tapes as he told us he would. When Roy called him about it, idiot videographer told him that he would mail them out on Friday (October 5) and that we should receive them on Monday. No tapes today. So if I don't get any tapes by the end of the week, idiot videographer is getting another threatening email.

But I did watch the video tonight. They improved it very much, which I'm happy about. However, I still don't think I can give them a good review. I actually don't really trust them anymore, which is why I want the tapes. In the future, if we have the money, I might want to get a really good videographer to edit the tapes and make us an awesome video.

I guess that it's true that you get what you pay for. Sometimes. Honestly, we just didn't have the money to hire a really reputable videographer. But I could've done more research. I was just extremely lazy about it, and I was already tired then of dealing with vendor meetings, etc. However, I refuse to take the blame for this, as it's not my fault. It's my idiot videographer's fault for providing his customers with a shitty product and not communicating well.

Despite the drama, it was nice seeing our video. I cried at all the appropriate times. I also realized (once again!) how much of a spaz I am. I never realized how often I give a thumbs up. I also never realized how much cleavage I had on our wedding day. There were times when it looked downright...well, ample.

Let's just all keep our fingers crossed that idiot videographer will finally give us our damn footage so we can close the book on this one. Frankly, I grow tired of dealing with idiots. I am also more than ready to put all kinds of wedding drama behind me.

Mondays Can Be Good Days.

About 6 weeks ago I found out about a position opening up in another department at my company. The cool thing about this position is that it's for a copy editor, which would be a really excellent addition to my resume and work experience. For most of my adult life, I have been leaning towards having an editing career, so you can imagine how excited I was to find out about it. I have been sitting on this ever since then, waiting for HR to post a job description. Today they emailed me one personally, and it fit me exactly. So I finally went to talk to my supervisor to get his blessing to try to switch departments.

I wasn't expecting it to be so easy, but right away he told me to go for it. He even talked to the manager and director of my department on my behalf and got their blessing as well. I don't think this is a surprise for anyone, considering that my supervisor and I had a frank discussion soon after I began working here, and he knew that working in a legal office as a proofreader and assistant isn't really the perfect job for me, especially considering the fact that I'm working towards an advanced degree that is not law-related. So today I'm submitting my resume to HR (after I clean it up a bit, of course). I'm pretty excited about the possibility of a new and more challenging position, but at the same time, I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Wish me luck! I really could use a change. Maybe I could handle being in an office for 8 hours if I actually enjoyed what I was doing. Also, the substantial increase in pay would be nice. All in all, this would be a really good move for me, so let's hope that things work out in my favor.

I also had a decent night in class. I didn't have much to say (still), but I was more prepared. I'm going to try to actually do my homework/reading at home instead of at work from now on. And after I'm done with the book I'm currently reading, I'm going to start rereading the books I'm writing my thesis on. It's time to get moving on finishing up this degree. The sooner I'm done, the sooner we can get the hell out of Smogland.

All in all, I had a great Monday.

My Desk

People's objects always amaze me. Last night Roy and I were at Mandy and Paul's, and I realized how much I just love looking at other people's things. I don't need to see people's secret things, because their everyday objects tell enough about them. So, I thought I'd write about what's on top of my desk at the moment just because I feel like it. It could be interesting.

My desk objects:

1) LCD monitor
2) empty check box with order forms for more checks inside
3) a tin that once contained a Fossil watch that is now holding a glue stick, a small green pad of Post-its, 2 paper clips, some business cards from various art museums, a small gold paper box that is holding a silver necklace my dad bought for me, and some rubber thing
4) 4 random post-its with notes on them stuck to the bottom of my monitor
5) bright yellow pad of Post-its (standard size)
6) Casio calculator that I have had for years
7) green Padrino pen that is still in the box
8) pad of heart-shaped Post-its that Roy bought for me on our second monthiversary
9) my cell phone
10) glass boot that holds about 10 pens, a highlighter, a permanent marker, and a pair of scissors - I got the boot at my dance team banquet at the end of my senior year of high school.
11) wooden box that opens to reveal a bunch of tabs - I use it to hold bills and stamps, and it was a birthday present from my mom when I turned 22.
12) almost empty roll of brown packing tape
13) big pad of yellow Post-its that features a welcoming doorstep along one side
14) burned Regina Spektor CD
15) pair of blue-handled scissors that I have probably had since junior high
16) mini-card with a heart on the outside of it
17) black Swingline stapler
18) silver desk lamp
19) glass bottle with butterflies painted on it - there was an artist who used to frequent the first restaurant that I waited tables at. She made me the bottle as a gift.
20) various documents: 2 copies of our wedding day itinerary (with directions printed on the back), a piece of correspondence from Direct Loans (student loans), some notes I made about the settings on my email account, a new Visa card that I have yet to activate, notes from Symantec on my email account, a magazine article on San Antonio de Padua, a hard copy of all the email addresses in my address book, notes on cameras I want and websites to look at
21) copy of Esopus magazine
22) pad of paper with notes about blogs on it
23) blue Pilot pen, my favorite pen of them all

There it is - more than anyone ever wanted to know about my desk!

Foursomes (not the kinky kind!)

Four Jobs I Have Had in My Life
(1) cashier/cook at a fast food restaurant
(2) inventory person for a gas compressor company
(3) AVID tutor
(4) proofreader

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
(1) Amelie
(2) Love Actually
(3) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(4) Memento

Four TV Shows I Like to Watch
(1) Lost
(2) Prison Break
(3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(4) Twin Peaks

Four Places I Have Vacationed
(1) Portland, Oregon
(2) Vashon Island, Washington
(3) Washington, DC
(4) Disneyworld

Four of My Favorite Dishes
(1) tom kuh kai
(2) bacon cheeseburger
(3) Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream
(4) fettucine alfredo with chicken

Four Websites I Visit Daily
(1) Blogger
(2) PaperBackSwap
(3) The Knot
(4) The Nest

Four Places I Would Rather Be
(1) home
(2) out of the country
(3) driving along an isolated stretch of highway
(4) Pacific Northwest

Four Bloggers I Am Tagging
(1) Blah blah blah
(2) The Soapbox
(3) Off the Shelves
(4) Confessions of a Real Librarian

Faking It

I have a love/hate relationship with grad school. There have been days when I've left class completely inspired, ready to read, write, and study my little heart out, to discover the many meanings and nuances the world has to offer.

And then there are days like today.

I spent the whole evening in class hoping that my professor wouldn't ask my thoughts on anything. Why? Because I didn't really do the reading for class tonight, and I turned in a bunch of bullshit for my homework assignment. Speaking of homework assignments, I'd like to know why we, a class full of grad students, are getting those kind of assignments. It really annoys me, to be honest. It's kind of patronizing. We're not in high school. We're perfectly capable of doing the reading, and we don't really need someone checking in on us. Argh.

Anyway. The reason why I didn't really do the reading is because I've read and analyzed these poems before as an undergrad. While I love the poems, I also recognize that there is other work out there - stuff that wasn't written by dead white guys. I would love to go off into uncharted territory, but apparently it's not going to happen right now. Also, stupid ol' me thought I could just glance through the poems really quick and then scribble something out - yeah, right. It's so not that easy for a literature class, which, coincedentally, is one of the things I love about literature. It's also going to be my fucking downfall.

What all this really means is that I am really burned out. I used to be very academically driven and motivated, and now I find myself doing a half ass job. The old me wouldn't dream of going to class without having done the reading. The new me is constantly winging it. And I feel that I have to change my attitude or I just won't make it. Right now I don't feel like I can do this.

I thought about my thesis tonight and just wanted to cry. It all seems so impossible at this point. I have to reread all 11 books in the series, find a bajillion sources, develop a proposal, and then write the sumbitch. If I want to graduate in December 2008, then I really should get on it.

The hardest part about being in grad school is the constant feeling of being a phony. I know that I'm a person of above average intelligence. But as a scholar, I really doubt myself. I listen to people spouting off their answers in class and just feel really intimidated. I often don't say anything in class because I'm afraid of being "wrong," which is totally the opposite of me in the real world.

I guess what it all boils down to right now is that I've been faking it for two whole years now, and I just don't know if I can do it anymore.