3 Months Marriaged

Today we have been married for a quarter of year. It's not a long time, and you haven't even been in my life for 3 years yet. But I can't imagine my life without you. This morning I noticed how long and dark your eyelashes were. I'm sure I've noticed this feature of yours before, but this morning it felt like a new discovery. It reminded me that there will always be more to learn about you, that we as humans have undiscovered secrets hidden in us, sometimes within plain sight. I hope that we will always search for a little more truth and meaning inside each other.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. We'd been dating for approximately 3 weeks. It was Sunday, April 3, 2005. Your birthday was the day before, and we went out to eat dinner with your family the night before, the first of many to come. We were lying in your bed together, and it was getting dark outside. In one moment, I realized that I loved you, and I rolled over, as if to hide from the realization. I remember feeling torn, because I was so happy to love you yet so terrified of that love and its many implications. Tears sprang to my eyes, and while I was wiping them away, you said softly, "I love you." Imagine my surprise and happiness when you told me you loved me only an instant after I realized I loved you. It was one of the best moments of my life thus far. It felt a little like destiny, a concept in which I don't really believe.

This month we had a "fight" about our wedding videographer. I have to put it in quotes, because you're such a gentle soul that you don't fight with me. I was so upset with you - and then I realized I wasn't upset with you at all. I was upset with our videographer. And then I got upset with myself for hurting your feelings, because all I was trying to do was express my own. It's so hard to be human sometimes. I have a degree that focuses on the love of language, and yet I can't even say what I mean sometimes.

But now I can say this: that I love you, that I'll always try to do right by you, that every day I accept you as my husband and myself as your wife. You are my partner on my path. Every day we are marrying each other all over again. Today is only one of many to come.