May 28, 2011

Oh, Saturday

I don't know what to say here sometimes. So let's start with my immediate surroundings.

I use my laptop a lot in the kitchen. We have this big pull-out cutting board that makes a wonderful desk, and also a wonderful place for stacking various things like books and papers, storing toys and half-eaten food, and also does an amazing job at its intended use: cutting things. Often I am cutting oranges or strawberries right next to my beat up ol' Macbook and as a result there is food stuck all over it.

Anyway, next to me is that sink full of dirty dishes that you see in the photo above. I'm lazy and there are a million other things I would rather be doing than cleaning up that mess that's been sitting there since last night. I'm so lazy that I took that photo through Photobooth so I wouldn't have to pull out my camera, take the picture, find the cord to upload the picture to my computer, and post it here.

So let the record reflect that I am lazy, so lazy that the diapers that went through their final rinse this morning are still in the washer, waiting to be transferred to the dryer. It's the weekend. I've already done 10 loads of laundry this week, as well as 10 loads of dishes, if not more. I've put away countless clean items of clothing, swept the floor, wiped down the high chairs, and I'm just done. I hate all this maintenance. I would say it's pointless but I know it's not. The house needs to be somewhat clean so that we can all exist in harmony, and from time to time I do enjoy the act of cleaning. But you know what I enjoy more? The acts of reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies. And sleeping.

Nighttime sleep has been scarce around here this past week. I wish I could blame Simon, but the main culprit has been Charlie, who is going through some weird stage where he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night (not scared, just tantrums) or doesn't want to go to bed at all. There have been a lot of tears and not much sleep. But I've had a nap every single day this week, which is pretty damn rare. One nap is pretty much a miracle, but a whole week of them? Aces.

I am reading this right now.
This has been haunting me for the past few days.
I watched this and this recently and have this and this on deck.
I remain obsessed with this, this, and this.

There's been much on my mind lately. For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling so content, with not the words to describe why or how. But the happy have to fall, yes? Straight into a pit of darkness, which is what happened to me around 3:30 this morning. I feel like life would be so much easier if I wasn't so damn moody. In all reality I know I'm not all that moody, but I'd like to just stay one thing for longer sometimes.

(That's a plant we've got growing in our kitchen. That picture came out that way out of the camera and I think it's perfect. I've been more pleased with my pictures lately, perhaps because I'm becoming more forgiving of my lack of photographic skills. My mind has been elsewhere.)

I guess that's the thing, I've become more forgiving of myself in general. Until I fall into that pit of darkness, and then everything I do is wrong.

On that note, I need to go find my happy place. I'll be back sometime later.


Sara said...

I'm moody too...being moody sucks. Dont do the dishes, dishes can wait...Hope you get some sleep tonight!

Maggie May said...

Leslie I don't know if you'll be back at my blog so I had to come here and give you a big cyber hug and tell you thank you so much so much for your words on my spirit and my writing because you and women like you are why i keep writing What i do. xoxoxox ps i love that you tell penis jokes!

Jessica said...

Amen, sister! I hate the sisyphean task of housework. I try to get myself into a mind-frame that it is important and meaningful to create a comfortable, clean space for my family, but sometimes that just doesn't cut it. (And really, there is nothing lazy about being the mother of two kids and taking a day of rest.) I enjoyed seeing a sink that looks like mine. I was going to tease about you making it so blurry, like you were afraid to REALLY show the sink - but you explained being to lazy to get the real camera; I didn't blog for at least a month because of that once, so I can relate.

I liked Up in the Air, and I also enjoyed Once. I saw it at an art theater in Denver when it came out. You'll probably recognize the main song.

My pictures never come out that cool - I'd love to get camera advice from you sometime. I have a Casio Exilim point and shoot that I got for a wedding gift, but I want to graduate to an SLR. Have any thoughts about that?

Eric's Mommy said...

I am in that pit right now :(

Leslie said...

Sara - I totally did! Thanks. :)

Maggie - You are most welcome. Please know that you are a huge inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your life. I kind of feel like I know you!

Jessica - Yeah, the blurriness was totally the laziness factor! I sometimes dread uploading photos because I know it will just add more to the pile. Another thing I need to get under control... sigh. As far as camera advice goes, a good DSLR to start out with is the Canon Rebel. It's a good, basic little camera and will get you some good pictures - BUT the camera is only part of getting good photos. In order to really take advantage of what a DSLR can do, you really should learn how to shoot in manual mode. Your pictures will be better for it. Email me if you want more info: leslie at bugweb dot net

Cindy - I'm sorry to hear that; I hope things start looking up for you soon. Hugs.