May 2, 2007

Loser, party of one

There is nothing quite so humiliating as being in front of the classroom and giving an embarassingly shitty presentation. That was me a mere 6 hours ago. I was very unprepared. I had spent most of my time on a different project, and boy, did my lack of preparation for my presentation show. To make matters worse, I spent most of yesterday in pain due to the root canal/mouth ulcer/extremely cracked lips factors and hadn't slept well the night before.

Anyway, even sitting there at the front of the room, I was *this* close to bursting into tears. My professor isn't one to hide what she is feeling or thinking, and so that made it slightly easier not having to pretend that I knew what I was talking about. I pretty much sat there and realized that my powers of bullshitting had failed me. Too much damn pain meds.

Afterwards, I called my fiance and brother and cried to both of them. I came home, ate some macaroni and cheese, and watched an episode of Buffy. I realized how tragic and doomed Buffy and Angel's relationship was/is, and yet how perfect they were for each other. The Romeo and Juliet of the supernatural world. A shitty presentation pales in comparison to the tragedy of the slayer-vampire love dynamic.

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