The Case of the Insomniac Fake Wife

Today (technically yesterday) Roy and I started calling each other "fake husband" and "fake wife." Right now humor is our only defense in an issue that is actually really stressing both of us out.

We have been "married" for almost a month. That's right, those aren't imaginary quotes you see. We are not legally married yet. We are poseurs.

Due to scratch-outs made by our officiant (and my brother) while filling out our marriage license, our license was deemed unacceptable. We received a courtesy letter notifying us of this 2 weeks after the wedding. I immediately called my brother to see if he had received anything in the mail, and he told me that he had been too busy lately to look through his mail. Fast forward about a week and a half, and he finally had enough time in his busy schedule to take care of this serious legal matter. When he actually looked at the affadavit he was sent, he noticed that the name of the city he lives in was spelled wrong. So he made a phone call to see if this is an issue, left a voice mail, and then missed the return phone call. And then he let two or three days go by without reattempting contact.

Meanwhile this weekend we received another letter letting us know that our license must be submitted within 10 days of the event. While my brother couldn't have saved the situation in time anyway, I am still angry and upset that he was okay with putting it off for this long. All in the name of being busy. I'd like to know who isn't busy.

For this reason, right now I would strongly advise that brides-to-be not choose family members or friends as vendors. I suppose that I did not stress enough to my brother that his responsibility as officiant was more than just performing the ceremony. However, the mere fact that he had to be ordained should have offered a clue. I know that everything is going to work out, but I also know that if we were paying my brother, this probably would've been taken care of by now.

And so there it is, the curious case of the fake wife in the night time (let me know if you catch that last reference). Stay tuned.