January 16, 2009
I had my 21 week post all planned out and written for today, but I'm not going to post it right now. Perhaps I'll post it next week or sometime when I'm feeling more up to it.
I don't think I'll ever completely understand the way the world works. I believe in balance in the universe, but sometimes I don't see much evidence of that. And that is incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking. It makes me feel, well, heavy. Like there are a million cement blocks stacked on top of me. Like I'm trying to walk with a gravestone chained to my ankle.
I'm tired of tragic things happening to people I love and even to people I barely know. Things have happened this week that should not have happened, ever. It's not fair or right.
(PS - I'm fine, and the baby's fine - but on an emotional level, things could be better. I realize I'm being cryptic, but that is unavoidable right now.)