June 17, 2009

Knife in the Heart

We had Charlie circumcised today.

Our instructions were to not feed him past 6 AM and be at the doctor's office by 8 AM. We fed him as close to 6 AM as we could and prayed that his little tummy would stay full enough to last through the procedure. Unfortunately, he started getting fussy soon after we arrived at the doctor's office, and his whimpers quickly turned to wails.

Thankfully, they didn't make us wait long. The nurse weighed him, and we discovered he's already gained a whole pound from his birth weight! Then the doctor came in and talked with us briefly. I was so scared to leave him with her because his crying was scaring me so much. I asked her if she was sure he would be okay, and she peered into my face and said, "Are you okay?" She urged us to take a walk and so we did. We came back and sat in the well baby room and listened to him screaming down the hall. My own tears were flowing by then. It was really hard.

We were both so relieved when the doctor brought Charlie back to us and told us to feed him. I think we were both afraid that we wouldn't see him alive again, as morbid as it sounds. It took us quite awhile to calm him down to the point where we could put him in his car seat and drive him home. He has been sound asleep since then, thanks to lots of cuddles and some baby Tylenol.

(I'd like to note here that Charlie's biggest issue was that he was hungry, not that he was in pain - a local anesthetic was used for the procedure. This was the longest he'd gone without one of us there to comfort him and feed him. It totally sucked.)

Circumcision used to be a given if you had a baby boy. Now it's not. It's definitely a hard choice that parents of boys have to make. For some, it's a no-brainer. For me, it wasn't. I felt pretty divided on the issue. Roy seemed more sure that we should have him circumcised, based on a conversation we had with our pediatrician about cancer statistics. So that's what we did. I wish that we could have had it taken care of at the hospital, but the pediatrician there was unable to fit us in before we were discharged. Still, it's not like having the procedure done at the hospital would have spared Charlie any pain or discomfort - it really would have been sparing us.

If we have any more boys, I'm not sure if we'll go the circumcision route, even though there are some medical benefits to having it done. This morning we were all pretty traumatized. I hope we made the right choice for Charlie.

Here's to happier days and a happier baby.

(No flames for this post, please. This is not a carefree decision we made.)


Nanette said...

Awww...I can imagine that it'd be really tough to hear your baby boy like that.

cowboyboot lady said...

How traumatic for all of you. Wishing you happy thoughts!!!
Precious sleeping pics.

inflammatory writ said...

<3 Charliiieee!! The poor little monster. Give him lots of cuddles. I know this was a hard choice but you did what you thought was best.

He's so flipping cute. Look at those cheeks!

Joel said...

I know you did what you thought was best. Its too bad he had to go through that.

The cancer reduction is of penile cancer which is already incredibly rare, usually only appears in the elderly, and is almost never fatal. So I do think using those reasons might have made sense because of your talk with a pediatrician, but no medical organization in the world recommends circumcision for those reasons...

In the end, no, I of course don't judge you. You did your best. But I do hope if you have another son you would avoid going the circumcision route again.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand. I chose to have both of my boys circumcised. My sister didn't have her two circumcised. Her older son had a massive infection because she didn't properly clean him and the pain he went through at 2 years old was worse than the circumcision pain my sons went through. Everything in life is a crap shoot. You just do what think is best for you and yours...Welcome to motherhood.


amber said...

No flames here.

I'm sure that was incredibly tough to go through and I'm glad you all made it and are doing well, all things considered.

{{hugs}} to all of you.

mj said...

Leslie I love your baby! I'm glad him (and his parents) are feeling better!

A said...

I just love the sleeping pics! I just want to squish his cheeks!

It's traumatizing to hear your baby crying and you can't do anything. We've been through the ringer with my little man - what with all the death allergies and now his ear drum issues. Les, I have had to hold him down more times than I can count and each time, I cry right along with him. It's natural to be traumatized! But everything is right in the world today! :)

phairhead said...

love the one of Charlie napping on Roy!

as for my two cents, circumcision is just more aesthetically pleasing.

JennB said...

Right now where I work, I share a wall with a peditrician's office. I hear screams of horror and pain and tear up myself. I can only imagine what it's like for you, the parents. *Hugs*

Charlie is such a nice looking baby, foreskin or not. Good work on baking him.

Brenda said...

Aww, I can only imagine how painful and traumatic this was for all of you, but I'm glad he was finally able to rest some. Looking forward to your birth story woman :)

Angie Eats Peace said...

I am sorry that was so hard for you :(

Erika said...

SO sorry it was so hard for you....your heart can go back in your chest now....he is ok...:)

LOVE the pictures.

Bex said...

No flames at all here. Sorry it was so hard for you :( I can't belive they wouldn't let him eat, I dont think we had to do that with L... Just remember that you did what you saw was best for him and he won't ever remember it at all.