June 2, 2010

Let Go/Be Still

I’ve been receiving messages from the universe again.

For so long I’ve been sitting in a muffled darkness. And then, before I began to even understand what was happening, these tiny points of light began poking through the black. My world has become this vast, starry sky - a blanket of darkness combined with the promise of light. I’m waiting for the light to really unveil itself. For the sun to start shining.

Because these messages, they are full of affirmation. I am literally aching with hope these days.

It feels so good to have hope after this year of upheaval. I'm not sure I ever lost it, but my mind went places that I don't like to think about. I've been coming back towards the light of life for awhile now. It's never felt so good to be happy.

Is life perfect? No, it's pretty far from it. But for the first time in a long time, I am happy with the imperfections. I celebrate them. They mean that I'm living, not that I'm waiting to be swallowed up by the black hole that is depression.

(But sleep gods, please send some good snoozing my way. I'm seriously sleep deprived.)

So anyway. Things have been happening that have been affirming that I'm on the right track, that I'm right where I should be. My original plan was to write one huge post about them all, but with planning Charlie's birthday party and getting ready for my mom's visit and all the normal life stuff, I just can't. So I'm doing smaller posts - I'll write as I can and post each as it's ready. So June will probably be full of these posts that I'm calling the "Let Go/Be Still" series.

Because if there's anything I've learned from my depression, it's that sometimes the only thing you can do is let go and be still.


Sara said...

This post makes me happy :)

Eric's Mommy said...

I just love your blog for many reasons.

I'm looking forward to more Let Go/Be Still posts!

Anamika said...

Oh Les! This post makes my heart squishy with happiness. You rock hard core!

amber said...

I'm really happy to read this. :) Looking forward to the rest of the posts in this series, too.