I'm (not, in any way, shape, or form) too sexy.

So I admitted to you guys the other night that it's been quite awhile since I've shaved my legs or had my eyebrows waxed. (Let's try to forget the eating the pretzel off the floor incident.)

I've always been what you'd call cute. Right?



(And that pic was taken on a good day.)

Being a mother has done something odd to me. It's made me feel pretty much the opposite of sexy. I can't say I felt beautiful when I was pregnant, but I developed a very healthy respect for my body and its ability to grow a healthy human being. (My birth experience and my inability to breastfeed has made me sort of angry at my body, but that is beside the point.) A good day for me (when I feel somewhat attractive) is when I'm able to: 1) shower, 2) put on makeup, and 3) dry/"style" my hair. However, even when I'm able to do these things, I'm still not well put together. My eyebrows are constantly in a state of being caterpillar-like, my legs are starting to look as hairy as Roy's, and well, in general I just feel blah.

It's funny how I thought that I was invisible back when I was pregnant. Because I'm definitely invisible now. Everyone notices my cute baby, but no one notices me. Most of the time I'm okay with this - unless I'm having an ugly day. Then I'm like, "Hey, people, can you just tell me I'm cute? kthnxbai."

I guess the problem is that I have much less interaction with other adults, and so there's no one to tell me, "Wow, you look great today!" I miss that. People were always telling me how great I looked when I was pregnant. I mean, comments on my appearance were an everyday occurrence. To be fair, people have told me that I look great post-pregnancy, but it's been awhile. The last comment I got that was even remotely related to the way I look was more negative than anything. (Someone told me that the reason why I lost all my baby weight is because I hold Charlie all the time and thus don't eat. The implication was that I am starving myself and also holding my baby too much - wow, what a self-sacrificing mother I am. So it was a double whammy of a critical remark about both my appearance and my parenting style - or at least that's the way I took it.)

I know I look pretty good for having popped out a shorty less than six months ago. I lost the baby weight really quickly, which I am so so grateful for. My stretch marks have faded so much that you have to really look for them to see them (again, something I am really happy about). My stomach is not any more or less flabby than it was when I got pregnant, my boobs still look good, my ass hasn't flattened, all these are good things - but yet I don't feel attractive most of the time.

I think I'm in desperate need of another makeover. I need a new wardrobe, a new haircut, possibly a new hair color. I need to figure out a way to get my eyebrows waxed more often. (It sounds ridiculous, but the state of my eyebrows has a big effect on the way I feel.) I need to do yoga more often because lately my muscles have been so tense that I feel like crap - and when I feel like crap, it transfers to how I perceive the way I look. All in all, I think big changes need to be made.

The simplest thing I can do right now is drink a lot of water. I don't think I'm hydrated enough, and then I start to get headaches (had an awful one today), which makes me feel worse about how I look. Everything else will follow naturally, I think. It's time I got some things balanced out.

I'll never be a supermodel. But maybe with a few changes, I'll feel more like a MILF.

Facebook has stolen my brain.

It's true. I've been sitting here at my laptop for a good while now, trying to think of something to write about. I have 32 drafts of posts that could be finished, I have countless photos that I haven't shared. But it all feels like just too much. All I want to do is refresh my screen to see if one of my friends wins a Farmville ribbon so I can get in on the celebratory coins.

Let it be known, though, that I haven't checked Facebook in one whole hour.

However, today I did get quite a few things done: I signed Roy and myself up for new, better life insurance policies, I made an important phone call about my 401K account, I renewed our AAA membership, I wrote some emails and made some other phone calls. It was definitely a productive day, but I have a major case of the blahs now.

It's going to be a long month, I can already tell.

PS - Don't forget to enter my book giveaway!

I'm too tired to be emo.

So I had this wonderful emo post all planned out for today. You know, those long, reflective, probably annoying posts that I like to write? Yeah, one of those.

But all of a sudden I feel just. so. tired. I can definitely tell it's the end of the week. The house is a mess. My legs are disgustingly hairy. My two favorite pairs of jeans have holes in the crotch. My back is killing me. I think I am developing carpal tunnel from that huge baby I lug around all day. I need a pedicure. Hell, even cutting my toenails at this point would be a drastic improvement. My eyebrows are very quickly reaching caterpillar status. I boiled eggs to make cobb salad for dinner, but now I think we're just going to eat the eggs and be done with it. There's a big stack of papers to go through and probably some bills to pay. I ate a pretzel off the floor tonight while playing with Charlie on his activity mat because it was easier than walking it to the trash can.

So yeah, obviously I'm a hot mess.

A hot mess who's rescued like 15 black cats and given them refuge on her very special FarmVille farm. And who, in her desperate attempt to avoid eating candy the entire month, ate a whole package of Chips Ahoy cookies in 24 hours.

Now that's what I call productivity.

Oh, happy day!

Today's been a great day. Allow me to list the reasons.

1) Charlie slept better last night than he has the last two months. He only woke up twice to be fed and only once (very briefly) just because. I woke up this morning feeling like a real person. The timing could not have been better. Yesterday, after a terrible night full of constant waking, I reluctantly got my copy of the evil Dr. Ferber's book off the shelf and seriously began thinking about sleep training. (Which would involve Charlie crying it out and which I don't want to do unless absolutely necessary.)

2) I rediscovered an old pair of jeans that I really love, and I got to wear them again for the first time in a year.

3) Charlie and I took a walk downtown to the library. It was a beautiful day, and Charlie charmed everyone who laid eyes on him (which is nothing new).

4) I plowed my name into my farm on FarmVille last night.



And now, for the big news.

5) Charlie rolled over for the very first time today.



I am such a proud mommy.

The Art of Buying Jeans

Does this happen to you?

You go to find a new pair of jeans, try on several pairs, find one pair that fits, buy them, take them home, wear them, and then find yourself not completely in love with them?

This happens to me all. the. time. It is so hard for me to find jeans that fit just perfectly. I haven't yet found a brand that always does the job. Instead, I find myself with jeans that are just meh. I've had several pairs of jeans that I absolutely loved, but I've never been able to master the art of purposefully finding them. It always seems accidental when a pair of jeans fits me perfectly.

Maybe I'm rushing through the trying-on process? I'm doing something wrong, that's for sure. I have about ten pairs of jeans that I am currently not wearing as proof.

So help me out here. How do you try on jeans? Are you always successful with your jeans purchases? What brand of jeans do you normally wear?

Thanks for indulging me.

RIP, Pooh Bear Sleeper (+ Giveaway!)

It's always a sad day when Charlie outgrows one of his outfits that I love a lot. Since Charlie was six weeks old, we've had the pleasure of seeing him wear his Pooh Bear sleeper.

Then:




Now:




Last night was probably Charlie's last night wearing his oh-so-cute Pooh Bear sleeper. Although it looks like it fits fine in the picture, it doesn't even fit over his bulky nighttime diaper anymore. These are times when I want to scream hysterically and beg Charlie to stop growing so fast. But I don't. Because I am, well, classy.

But since Charlie is getting bigger, that means he must be getting older, and so I'm hosting another book giveway for Charlie's upcoming monthly birthday. Leave a comment telling me about the most horrible literary character you've come across, and you'll be entered in a drawing for a book of your choice from our Amazon book store. I will pick a winner on Sunday, November 8. Have fun!

(I think the most horrible literary character I've ever come across is Humbert Humbert from Lolita. Man, do I hate that guy.)

Charlie's First Halloween/NaBloPoMo Begins

Charlie's first Halloween was full of win. We started off the day by making the trek to the farmer's market. On the way we stopped in a furniture store to check out the wares, and the owner had a couple of baby black kittens behind the counter that she was giving away for free. I got to hold the runt (love those runts), and Roy was giving me a look the whole time I was doing so. I'm a bleeding heart for animals. And at the farmer's market, I saw another bleeding heart who had her dog in a little backpack carrier. That's so me!

Later in the day we carved our pumpkin, and I taught Charlie how to be Superman. When the time was right, we dressed him up in his frog costume and took him to my mother-in-law's for awhile. We ended up back at home around 6:30 to put Charlie to bed, and that's where we stayed for the rest of the night.

Some pics!






















Today is the beginning of NaBloPoMo, where I prattle on aimlessly each day for the entire month. An entire month of prattling. I'm excited, because there's a lot to prattle on about.

Here's to prattling! May I do it often this month - if I am not completely distracted by FarmVille, that is.