November 7, 2009

I'm (not, in any way, shape, or form) too sexy.

So I admitted to you guys the other night that it's been quite awhile since I've shaved my legs or had my eyebrows waxed. (Let's try to forget the eating the pretzel off the floor incident.)

I've always been what you'd call cute. Right?

(And that pic was taken on a good day.)

Being a mother has done something odd to me. It's made me feel pretty much the opposite of sexy. I can't say I felt beautiful when I was pregnant, but I developed a very healthy respect for my body and its ability to grow a healthy human being. (My birth experience and my inability to breastfeed has made me sort of angry at my body, but that is beside the point.) A good day for me (when I feel somewhat attractive) is when I'm able to: 1) shower, 2) put on makeup, and 3) dry/"style" my hair. However, even when I'm able to do these things, I'm still not well put together. My eyebrows are constantly in a state of being caterpillar-like, my legs are starting to look as hairy as Roy's, and well, in general I just feel blah.

It's funny how I thought that I was invisible back when I was pregnant. Because I'm definitely invisible now. Everyone notices my cute baby, but no one notices me. Most of the time I'm okay with this - unless I'm having an ugly day. Then I'm like, "Hey, people, can you just tell me I'm cute? kthnxbai."

I guess the problem is that I have much less interaction with other adults, and so there's no one to tell me, "Wow, you look great today!" I miss that. People were always telling me how great I looked when I was pregnant. I mean, comments on my appearance were an everyday occurrence. To be fair, people have told me that I look great post-pregnancy, but it's been awhile. The last comment I got that was even remotely related to the way I look was more negative than anything. (Someone told me that the reason why I lost all my baby weight is because I hold Charlie all the time and thus don't eat. The implication was that I am starving myself and also holding my baby too much - wow, what a self-sacrificing mother I am. So it was a double whammy of a critical remark about both my appearance and my parenting style - or at least that's the way I took it.)

I know I look pretty good for having popped out a shorty less than six months ago. I lost the baby weight really quickly, which I am so so grateful for. My stretch marks have faded so much that you have to really look for them to see them (again, something I am really happy about). My stomach is not any more or less flabby than it was when I got pregnant, my boobs still look good, my ass hasn't flattened, all these are good things - but yet I don't feel attractive most of the time.

I think I'm in desperate need of another makeover. I need a new wardrobe, a new haircut, possibly a new hair color. I need to figure out a way to get my eyebrows waxed more often. (It sounds ridiculous, but the state of my eyebrows has a big effect on the way I feel.) I need to do yoga more often because lately my muscles have been so tense that I feel like crap - and when I feel like crap, it transfers to how I perceive the way I look. All in all, I think big changes need to be made.

The simplest thing I can do right now is drink a lot of water. I don't think I'm hydrated enough, and then I start to get headaches (had an awful one today), which makes me feel worse about how I look. Everything else will follow naturally, I think. It's time I got some things balanced out.

I'll never be a supermodel. But maybe with a few changes, I'll feel more like a MILF.


weezermonkey said...

I guarantee you that, if we had lunch and you brought Charlie, I'd pay more attention to you. ;)

Erika said...


phairhead said...

i think you look lovely. a day at the spa is in order.

Myra said...

Girl with the alabaster skin, you are beautiful. I know what it's liek to feel blah, though. I've been feeling that way too (again, sans baby). Like you, I also find that little things make a difference--styling the hair, shaving the legs, etc. Once way to keep the eye brows tame in between waxing is tweezing. Some people prefer not to tweeze. I don't know if you are one of them, but if you aren't it might help. Red lipstick picks me up, People says things like: ooh, that's totally your color. So wear "your color" and rock it! Love ya!

alejna said...

Ah, yes. I remember that feeling well. Like it was yesterday. Oh, right. That's because it *was* yesterday.

Leslie, you look fantastic. But if taming your caterpillars makes you feel better, tame away. (They don't look like caterpillars to me, by the way. I'm just amused by calling them that.)

Anonymous said...

i just got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in MONTHS and i feel so much better. there's something about having nice eyebrows that makes me feel really "put together". so i know what you mean.

do small things for yourself when you have time, because small things add up to big change. remember to be kind to yourself.

ps - i think you look great and i love your straight hair.

Bex said...

I think you look fabulous, but I do know what you mean. I actually got freaked out at one point by how much waight I was losing and how quickly. All that baby holding and not enough eating :)
PS - my eyebrows are pretty scary too. I am overdue for a threading!

amber said...

You look great dear, but I think new mother or not, all women go through those times when we just feel blah. At least, I know I sure do. And I really think little things can help - getting the brows and hair did, a new lipgloss or eyeshadow, some new bath products, a new shirt or accessory. It can just sort of make you feel like a new woman of sorts. I hope you can find some time to squeeze in a mini-makeover day for yourself soon. :)

tiger said...