December 7, 2008

Bunlet/Pregnancy/TTC FAQ

Yeah, it's another Bunlet-related post.

It's amazing how many questions people ask when they find out you're pregnant - and how many of the same ones you hear over and over. There's a blogger out there who posted an FAQ once she announced her pregnancy, but honestly, I can't remember who it was. Whoever it was, I'm stealing your idea - thanks in advance! (And if you read this blog, let me know who you are in the comments.) (Edited to add: It was Nanette who originally did the FAQ - thanks, Nanette!)

Bunlet/Pregnancy/TTC FAQ

How far along are you?/When are you due?
As of today, I am 15 weeks, 2 days pregnant, so I am still near the beginning of the second trimester. My official due date is May 29, 2009, but I will not be surprised if I have a June baby. My birthday is on June 7, and part of me is hoping that Bunlet and I will share a birthday.

How are you feeling?/Do you have morning sickness?
Now that I've left the first trimester behind, I'm feeling much better. I was pretty miserable throughout it. By some stroke of luck, I haven't thrown up, but I had a lot of nausea and a general feeling of ickiness all the time. I was also extremely tired, and as luck would have it, I've had a raging case of insomnia for pretty much my entire pregnancy. I will say that the idea of morning sickness is a myth - for many women, it's all day sickness, and for me, I experienced a lot of nausea at night. Even though I'm in the second trimester now, I still have nausea, but it's mostly pretty mild.

Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?/Do you have a gender preference?
Yes, we are absolutely going to find out! We don't have a preference as to gender - we are just really happy to finally be expanding our family. Beggars can't be choosers; all we really want is a healthy baby. Please and thank you.

Where did the name "Bunlet" come from?
My lovely friend Myra and I were discussing someone else's pregnancy via text back in April, and she sent me a message that said, "I cannot wait until you and the Roylet have a little bunlet in the oven." From the beginning of our relationship, I have often referred to Roy as "the Roylet." It makes sense for him to have fathered a little Bunlet.

Did the length of time you tried for a baby have any effect on your pregnancy and how you feel about it?
Honestly, it's hard to answer this question because trying for ten months and going through the infertility testing is really the only TTC experience I've personally had. Of course, we'd have been happy and excited if we'd gotten pregnant the first cycle trying (or the second or third or fourth). But our particular journey really gave me a whole different perspective on things once I actually got pregnant. For one, I realized right away how damn lucky we were to get pregnant after only ten months; if you had told me at the beginning of our TTC journey that it would take almost a year for us to get pregnant, I probably would've felt really discouraged and depressed about it. I also really wanted a girl when we first started TTC - but after months of trying, the sex of the baby just didn't matter anymore. A girl, a boy - as long as he/she is healthy, I am happy.

My friend Tiff says that she feels that everyone should have to TTC for at least six months before getting pregnant, because it would give people a whole lot of insight into the heartbreak of a negative pregnancy test, having your period show up when that's the last thing you want, or seeing your temperature drop at the end of a cycle. Tiff also likened getting pregnant to ordering food through a drive-thru. For some people, it really is as simple as driving up and saying, "I'd like a baby, please," and being given one right away. For others, it is not nearly that uncomplicated, and it is much more heartbreaking.

As I said before, I really am grateful for our TTC journey. Without it, we wouldn't have this baby who we already love so much. And let's face it, we all need to be taken down a notch sometimes. The last year has definitely humbled me.

Did you do anything differently the cycle you got pregnant?
Yes, I had an HSG, didn't chart, and only used OPKs to time intercourse. It's been said that it's easier for some women to get pregnant after having an HSG, as the dye tends to "clean out the cobwebs," so to speak.

It's really tough to say why cycle 9 was the winner - it could be any number of things. Maybe the sperm and egg were finally in the same place at the same time, maybe the HSG cleared out some minor blockage, maybe not charting was the key.

All I know is that I was shocked beyond belief when the test came out positive.

Will you do anything differently when you try for your next child?
Yes. Next time I hope that we'll ease gently into the TTC process. I feel that we (me, mostly) put too much pressure on the situation, and it really didn't help. I am a very proactive person, and I don't like to fart around when it comes to something I want. I am a go-getter to the point of obsessiveness, and this can work against me.

I think it's important for people who are TTC to relax. People who've been TTC for awhile hate being told that, because in some cases, no amount of relaxing is going to get you knocked up. I get that, but I also know that being as relaxed as possible certainly can't hurt anything.

I'd like to say that I was super relaxed the cycle I got pregnant, but with the testing we were doing, I really wasn't.

Any advice for someone new to TTC?
1 )Read TCOYF.
2) Learn how to chart in order to get familiar with your body.
3) Don't expect to get pregnant right away, but realize that if you do, you are very, very, very lucky.
4) Have fun. Relax. It will happen.

Have you had any complications with your pregnancy?
No, thankfully. I did have to go to the ER at 11 weeks due to mild dehydration. I felt absolutely miserable that night. I was given fluids and had an ultrasound - that's when I first heard the heartbeat and saw Bunlet moving around. Seeing Bunlet made everything okay. Funny how that happens.

Do you like being pregnant?
Yes. So far it's been a pretty rewarding process, despite the fact that the first trimester pretty much sucked. I am always amazed at how unstressed I've been about my pregnancy so far. I thought I would be a walking ball of worry. Of course, I do worry a healthy amount, but I had to wait awhile for this, so I am determined to enjoy it. I decided early on that I wasn't going to let my fears of potential bad things (miscarriage, birth defects, etc.) keep me from enjoying this time or bonding with Bunlet. I worried and stressed enough during the TTC process, and ultimately it just took too much out of me.

There is still the (remote) possibility that we could lose Bunlet or that there could be something seriously wrong with him/her. It's scary, very scary, and it would be devastating if it happened. However, there is also the very real possibility that something could happen to Roy, but that has never stopped me from loving him entirely. I choose to love Bunlet completely and ferociously, despite all the risks, because no matter how painful it could be to have to face losing him/her, I am Bunlet's mother - and this is what mothers do.

I am very lucky to have had a problem-free pregnancy thus far - it has, without a doubt, made it much easier to give myself over to the love I have for my kiddo. Hope is a powerful thing, but I realize that not all expectant parents have the luxury of experiencing it to its fullest potential.

Have you gained any weight?/Are you showing?
Our scale at home shows that I have gained no weight. I will get weighed at my next appointment on December 11. But I am showing. At eight weeks, I was so bloated that I couldn't fit into any of my jeans and my rings were too small. I began wearing the bella band. At 12 weeks I was sporting a small baby belly and officially started wearing maternity clothes. I am really surprised I started showing so early. I thought for sure I wouldn't show until much later. Right now I have only grown in my belly; maybe that's why I'm already showing.

Here's a picture of the (all-in-black emo) belly at 14 weeks, 5 days:

I had to cut my head off this picture because I look like ass. Truly. I've had quite a few people tell me that I'm a cute pregnant person (thanks, nice peeps who are probably lying!), but to be honest, I feel like I just look really tired most of the time. I do, however, feel much more attractive than I did in the first trimester. I was looking pretty tore up (Kim, are you listening?!!!1!1) most of the time, to the point where I probably would've had to wear pork-chop flavored panties to get a dog to even look at me. Unfortunately, I could never wear the pork-chop flavored panties because the smell is nauseating. Sucks to be me.

So, these are all of the questions I can think of for my uber-fascinating FAQ - you see how this one has dwindled into a discussion of scented underwear. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask in the comments, and I will put together another long-winded (but hopefully endlessly entertaining) FAQ.

The end.


kim said...

"I was looking pretty tore up (Kim, are you listening?!!!1!1) most of the time, to the point where I probably would've had to wear pork-chop flavored panties to get a dog to even look at me."

OMG, [dead]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, that is good advice, and I agree with the relaxing thing, but for some people, no matter hard they relax, if they have a medical condition preventing them from getting pregnant without intervention, all the relaxing in the world won't do a damn thing, unfortunately. Damn that was one long ass sentence!

I think you look great! And I am sure your face is not , and has never been, tore up from the floor up. ;)

Nanette said...

I did an FAQ re: my pregnancy, but I like yours better. :)

And I think your advice response is right on, especially about TCOYF. I learned a lot about my cycles that way.

Cat said...

You really are showing! That's a good thing- it's totally not a passive aggressive dig. You dig?

sherthebear said...

great post. I am like you, no throwing up but nausea all the time. I am showing too, I started showing at 12 weeks, it is a little crazy nothing fits! Great advice for people.

ladydot42 said...

Thanks for the FAQ. My question is, are you hoping Bunlet will be an awesome slimy worm like me?

Brenda said...

Wonderful post. Thanks for the FAQ list. I love reading about bunlet and everything you are experiencing--I'm in awe of it all. Thanks for posting a pic of your tummy and including us in your pregnancy journey.

Tiff said...

Great job at the FAQ! I think that is a very good way to inform everyone! And thanks for the shout out! :-) I feel loved! My friend listens to me!

R said...

Hey there! I saw this post through a link on Nanette's blog. Congrats to you and Roy! :)

Bex said...

Love the FAQs. I wish I had done that and then handed it out to people. You may have already discover this yourself, but the Bella Band is the shiz. I used it forever!

amber said...

cute and informative post. i'm loving the little baby belly :)

Charlie said...

Congratulations! I've been behind in my blog reading, so this is a belated congrats, but I'm thrilled for you. Yay!