I'll Take a Little More Dysfunction, Please: Day One of Our Christmas Vacation

Roy and I got up dark and early at 3:30 AM for our flight on December 23. Our brother-in-law Paul was nice enough to take us to the airport and watch over our kitties in our absence. Our flights were without incident, although I began to get extremely uncomfortable during the second (longer) one. (I will definitely not be doing any more air travel during this pregnancy.)

My mom and brother (Wade) picked us up from the airport and took us to eat at Taco Haven, a Mexican eatery in downtown San Antonio. (One thing I miss about Texas is the Mexican food. California just doesn’t know how to do it, in my opinion.) Afterwards, we went to my Uncle Charles’s house, where we got all settled in for our stay. Roy and I took a long nap; it was much needed.

When we woke up, it was nearing dark. We still hadn’t told any of my family about the sex of Bunlet - I was waiting until I could get them all together in the same room. I decided on the very spur of the moment to set up the surprise for my mom while she was out walking Buster (my uncle’s dog) - it only involved my putting out all our ultrasound pictures and the “it’s a ____” teddy bear Roy had found for her. I needed someone to stall my mom until I was ready, but neither Roy nor Wade jumped to it. Thus I decided to take my chances and set up the surprise and hope she didn’t walk in. I started laying out the ultrasound pictures on my uncle’s dining room table, when all of a sudden, I heard the front door open.

I quickly gathered all the stuff together and hurried upstairs. I was pretty annoyed but quickly got over it. Being as we were going out to get dinner, I figured everyone else could get in the car and I could stay behind for a few minutes and set up the surprise. My mom, brother, and uncle were all in the living room discussing something, so I hid in the downstairs bathroom while Roy went to go tell them to go out to the car and that I would join them shortly.

My mom is famous for carrying on a conversation for-frickin-ever, and I suppose she and Uncle Charles thought this was the perfect time to discuss the merits vs. dangers of acquiring driving directions from an online source. (Neither one of them has the Internet, if you can believe that.) So there I was, crouching in the downstairs bathroom, ear to the door to figure out what was going on. I finally texted my brother and said, “Get her out of there! I’m trying to set something up.”

I finally just gave up, because my mom would not stop talking. I hid the ultrasound pictures and the teddy bear amongst my uncle’s supply of toilet paper, walked out of the bathroom, and let everyone know I was ready to go. I thought it would have been cool to have my mom come home to the “it’s a ____” set up, and I was a little bummed (and again, annoyed).

As it turned out, it was probably best that it didn’t happen that way. Because while we were on our way home from picking up dinner, we got lost. When I get lost, I don’t get nervous - probably because I have a crappy sense of direction and am used to getting lost. My mom, on the other hand, has spent the majority of her life living in small Texas towns. She is a slow driver who doesn’t really know how to drive on freeways. What’s worse, she’s an anxious driver. So when we got lost, my mom’s anxiety really hit the roof. I kept trying to tell her that we just needed to turn around and go back the way we came, but instead, we just kept driving, and my mom just kept fretting. I don’t think she really understood that there were three rational adults in the car (me, Roy, and Wade) and that between us, we could figure out how to get back to my uncle’s house. (Plus, I have spent a lot of time driving around San Antonio, so as crappy as I am with directions, it’s a city I feel comfortable in.)

It truly was only a matter of time before someone got pissed off, because at this point my mom’s driving skills had dwindled to those of a 14-year-old (due to her high anxiety) and yet she wouldn’t do anything to remedy the situation. That someone who got pissed off was Wade. There was an outburst of anger (on both their parts), but my mom finally stopped the car and let my brother take over. He turned the car around, and we drove back to my uncle’s house.

Wade retreated to the third story of the house, where he had set up his home away from home. My mom stayed downstairs with my uncle in the living room. Roy and I ate dinner and hung out a bit in the living room as well. My mom looked awfully sad, and as much as I could relate to my brother’s frustration with her, I felt really sorry for her. I had Roy grab the camera, and I did the big reveal of Bunlet’s sex on the spur of the moment. It was a really nice moment, and it made a huge difference in my mom’s demeanor. It would have been better if Wade had been there as well, but I figured I would tell him in the morning when he was in a better mood.

As it turns out, sound carries very easily in my uncle’s gigantic house, and Wade heard everything, even though he was three stories up. Naturally, he was hurt at not being included. My intention was not to leave him out, but to do something to cheer my mom up. And I had no idea that he would be able to hear it all. So that aspect of it sucked. But we cleared it up, and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were less dramatic days.

That recap (with pics!) is coming up.