October 27, 2009

Charlie the Fat and Sassy, Sleep-Fighting, Snotty Nose Champion!

(This is long, but it's worth it. In my opinion, of course. But since I wrote it, of course I think it's worth reading. But read it anyway. Because it's good.)

Last night as I crawled into bed beside Roy, I felt tears falling down my face. This is the curse of motherhood, apparently - I tend to tear up quite often.

Why was I crying? Because motherhood rips my heart to shreds. I love it so much, and I love being needed by Charlie. I don't think I realized how much I love being needed until I had him.

Thus one of my new biggest fears is that someday Charlie won't need me anymore. And that's why I was crying.

So, Charlie must have heard my tears. Because he spent the whole night needing me (and Roy). He woke up at 10:30 and didn't fall back to sleep until 3 AM. He'd fall asleep relatively easily when one of us was holding him but would pop right back awake once we put him down. All our normal tricks didn't work.

So I found myself taking him for a car ride at 1 AM. It put him right to sleep. Came back and snapped his car seat to the stroller and BAM! Awake. Roy and I immediately took him out for a walk. At 2 AM. That didn't really work. He finally fell asleep after he ate around 2:30. He woke up several times around 5 AM, and after that, I don't know because Roy, AKA Angel of Mercy, handled things until he woke me up at 7:30.

My theory? The dreaded four month wakeful. Charlie wasn't crying or upset. He was just awake. Apparently the world is really, really interesting right now. I think he's been in this stage for awhile, though. Hopefully last night was the peak of it.

To complicate matters, this morning was Charlie's four month (or so) well check-up visit. It went really well. Charlie's weight remains off the charts (21 lbs 3 oz), and his height and head circumference are catching up (both in the 90th percentile). We asked the doctor a number of questions about random things and then Charlie got three vaccinations. (He was supposed to have four, but we asked if we could just do three.)

This morning was also when we noticed that Charlie was having a harder time than normal with breathing. (I have taken him to the doctor for congestion before, but the doctor told me that because Charlie has such a tiny nose, which he inherited from his mama, it's going to be easier for him to get stuffed up.) With the Santa Ana winds in full effect, Charlie turned into a snotty nose today.

So basically, if you take a baby who is operating on hardly any sleep, give him three shots and some saline drops to unclog his tiny little button nose, the day isn't going to be pleasant. I took Charlie on a long drive after his doctor's appointment to get him a nap and then I took him grocery shopping. Charlie's Uncle Paul, another Angel of Mercy, came over in the afternoon and spent some time with Charlie, while I took a much-needed nap. Soon after Roy got home from work, we started the looooooooooooooooong process to get Charlie to sleep.

We had decided that Charlie needed to sleep in his bouncy chair so that he wouldn't be flat on his back. Unfortunately, he would only stay asleep in the bouncy chair if one of us stood there and gently shook the top of it (near his head). I decided to hit the drug store and buy anything that could help alleviate the situation. I came home with another humidifier (we've been borrowing one and have been using it every night), some Vick's VapoRub for babies, some Chex Mix, and some instant coffee. Roy got the new humidifier up and running while I slathered Charlie's back and chest with the Vick's. But he still wouldn't stay asleep unless the top of his chair was shaking.

Roy mentioned the swing we have in the garage, the one that's a giant piece o' crap and that we almost sent to the junk yard to die. It has a separate vibrating component. That gave me the idea to go look for something else. And then I found it, and we put a new battery in it, wrapped it in a washcloth, and taped it to the top of Charlie's chair. He's been dead asleep ever since.

So that something else? It really is what you're thinking it is. That is, if you're thinking it's a vibrator.

So, there you go. My fat and sassy, sleep-fighting, snotty nose baby is sleeping in a bouncy chair with his mom's old vibrator taped to it. I knew all that time I spent watching Sex and the City would come in handy.

This is one for the baby book, truly.


Nanette said...





kim said...

OMG. Dead.

phairhead said...


amber said...

Well, Nanners beat me to it, but I'll say it again.





thebookmill said...

that is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Bwahhahaha! That is the funniest sh*t evah!Cerby just gave me the weirdest look when I burst out laughing. Darn judgmental dog.

Growing Up Cameron said...

I won't read too into this & wonder if it's a feeling he felt many times in the womb.

Instead I'll say, SUCCESS! I hope this means many nights of uninterrupted sleep are ahead. :D

Angie Eats Peace said...


Bex said...

That's a story you'll have to share when he brings his dates over :)