Yesterday I went to the doctor and saw the nurse practitioner since my doctor is out of town. This picture was hanging in the room.
A few tears later, I was on the phone with a local psychiatric office making an appointment to see one of their psychiatrists. The appointment was today. I was a little nervous, because I was afraid they'd just throw a prescription at me and send me on my way. Luckily, I got an MFT, who sat and talked with me for an hour. We made our game plan and we're going to stick with just therapy for now, and if I absolutely need meds, then I'll get them. I like this approach. I'm very much a holistic and homeopathic person, so going for anti-depressants is a little scary. I'm not completely opposed to them, but for now I want to see what just therapy will do. (Just yesterday, though, I was ready, willing, and able to accept meds. Funny what a little soul-searching will do.)
In the meantime, I'm taking care of me and Chuckles and my cute little family. And I'm not doing much else. I figure everything else can wait while I reread my favorite poetry books, drink green smoothies, write in my journal, take Chuckles to the park, and lounge around in bed. Depression is debilitating, that's for sure, but it's also oddly liberating. All the extraneous stuff is stripped away in favor of what must be done.
The title of this post comes from the Tao Te Ching, which is probably the closest thing to a Bible for me. I was reading it today in the waiting room and noticed "Hold on to the center" most of all. So I figure that's what I'm going to do. Hold onto the center. Wherever it is.