"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."
I meant to have a gratitude post all written and posted for Thanksgiving. What can I say, except two certain little someones are keeping me quite busy? And my recovery has been more complicated than I ever anticipated it would be. But hey, that gives me a good excuse to take lots of naps.
At the top of my gratitude list:
1) this guy, because he's my best friend and understands me like no other ever has or ever will
2) and this guy, too, because he's my first born and has taught me humility and grace
3) not to mention this one, because he's my second born and has taught me patience and healing
I am a little awestruck at how lucky I am.
But wait! The list goes on...
I'm grateful for my birth team: midwives Joyce and Lynn, my doula Mandi, and my good friend and birth photographer Becki (who also took the above photo of Simon), all of whom were present through my labor at the birth center. Their patience and support really blew me away.
I'm grateful for the staff at the hospital for taking care of us, especially those who didn't feel the need to lecture me for attempting an out-of-hospital VBAC.
I'm grateful for my mom, who has always been my rock, who is my other best friend, who listened to me wail on the phone the other day as I dealt with the horrible pain of the worst urinary tract infection I've ever had.
I'm grateful for the antibiotics that are kicking my UTI's ass, even though I can't breastfeed while taking them.
I'm grateful for people who perform acts of kindness for those they don't know very well, like the woman who gave us a couple of days worth of her own breastmilk for Simon once she found out I had to stop breastfeeding for a week. Not only that, she brought us some seriously yummy cupcakes as well.
I'm grateful for my mother-in-law, who brought us Thanksgiving dinner last night, watched Charlie the other day so I could go see the doctor, and brought us everything we needed while we were laid up in the hospital.
I'm grateful for Mandy and Paul, who took care of Charlie while we were in the hospital and went out to buy us bottles once I found out I had to start pumping.
I'm grateful for my friend Emily, who brought me pain meds, toilet paper, and pads the other day, not to mention some awesome pot roast.
I'm grateful for my brother-in-law Jake, who brought supplies to us while we were in the hospital and pizza to us after we got home.
I'm grateful for Roy's aunt Ruth, who is coming to stay with us for awhile once Roy goes back to work next week.
I'm grateful for all my family and friends and everyone who has shown us such support and love.
I will never be able to say thank you enough.