I love being proven wrong.
Let me explain. I never feel the need to be right, but I always feel the need to be heard. I don't care if I lose an argument as long as the person I'm arguing with has heard me and understands what I'm saying. Then I am happy to apologize and move on. (Of course, sometimes people don't give me the satisfaction of hearing me. It's really annoying, and I'm really stubborn about beating a dead horse when the horse is already so dead it's got maggots and flies on it. It's something I'm working on, this needing to be heard thing.)
But anyway. I had a whole other post lined up for today, but something so miraculous happened that I am pushing that post to tomorrow so I can write about this today.
My friend Jessica emailed me today, wanting to let me know that an announcement about my not returning to work was sent out to the department. She told me that many people came into her office, expressing sadness that I won't be coming back to work.
I was shocked. For one, I didn't expect an announcement to be sent out. For another, people are sad that I'm not coming back? Me? The paper pusher gal who sat in the smallest office in the entire building? The one who was stuck in a dead-end administrative-level position and didn't mind expressing her dissatisfaction with it?
Yep, that's the one.
And then I realized that it wasn't my work skills they were going to be missing. They were sad about losing me. Not an administrative assistant. Not a peon and office drone. Me.
It's funny that I'm so surprised over this. I mean, after all, I've had plenty of friends who have moved on from jobs we've had together. The impact it had on me was enormous. I just didn't think it would affect many people in my office. I really thought that everyone would say, "Huh. Well, I guess we'll have to hire a new admin. Moving on!"
But I guess I was wrong. I guess that I had underestimated the impact that I had on others. I've spent my whole life wanting to help people, wanting to have a large-scale positive influence on others, and I seem to have overlooked the fact that one can be a positive force in someone else's life on a smaller scale.
It seems that just by showing up to work every day and making stupid, sarcastic jokes, I will be missed. People will miss me. I overlooked this. I defined myself too much by my position and stupidly forgot that before I was an admin, I was always a human being. I feel, well, humbled. I now know that the last three years were not a waste of my time. Because I made a difference.
Those of you out there who work in jobs you can't stand, take heart and remember that no matter how much your job sucks and how demoralizing it can be, you can still do great things - just by being who you are. They do say that half of life is just showing up. And well, that's what I did. I showed up to work. I didn't help land any big contracts. I didn't earn my company a bunch of money. I just sat in my office and did my work and just knew that I was completely replaceable and expendable.
Now you see why I love being proven wrong.