Not only is Charlie five weeks old today, but it's also Smile Day!
That's right, my little boy is smiling! He's been showing signs of actually being happy for about a week now. Yesterday I thought he was smiling at me, but today I'm pretty darn sure of it. He's not doing it too often, but when he does, it really makes me feel so damn good!
This morning I read The Grouchy Ladybug to Charlie, and when he heard my voice, he got all happy. And each time I showed him the pictures, he got all happy all over again. Then I left him alone in his bouncy chair for a few minutes, and when I came back, he'd fallen asleep on his own. This never happens!
Not only that, but on each of our shifts last night, he slept for longer than he normally does. We each only had to do two feedings per shift - not bad for a kid who sometimes wants to be fed every hour.
So needless to say, today was a good day! And I am having more and more of them. I don't freak out anymore when I think of Roy going to work and leaving me at home (although I do call him sometimes and say "When are you coming home?" with a desperate edge to my voice). I have this feeding/soothing/changing thing down to a science, especially at night. Roy and I are both getting adequate amounts of sleep, thanks to our shift arrangement (although we could both always use more!). And I am starting to feel more confident about my parenting skills. (However, if you ask me tomorrow, I might consider myself the most inept mom ever.)
But today I did read this. And I did cry some. There's still recovering to do, both emotionally and physically - that's for sure. But today my son smiled at me. And then he peed on me, popped me in the face while he was stretching, and headbutted me twice. Crazy kid.