Today Charlie is one month old! He's still alive! And so are we!
I can't begin to describe the ways in which my life, myself, and my marriage have changed in the last month. It would just take too long. It is so true when people say that having a baby changes everything, but it's also annoying when people offer that little tidbit as well-meaning advice - because you cannot even begin to emotionally understand the depth of change a baby brings into your life until you're right in the middle of the chaos. So hopefully I never give this advice to anyone who is expecting, because really, it's silly.
I'm happy to report that I have lost 40 pounds in the last month. I gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy, so that means I weigh less than I did when I got pregnant. This is shocking to me in some ways, but I know that the weight loss is due to stress and the fact that I am just never hungry. The skin on my stomach is still kind of loose, and there are the stretch marks to consider - but I have to say that on the whole, I feel much more accepting of my body than I did pre-pregnancy.
I am also an expert feeder, diaper changer, burper, and soother - these are all things that I didn't have a lot of experience with a month ago. Not only am I great at doing these things, Roy is, too. He really should get a Dad of the Year award. He is just such an amazing father, and watching him change into a daddy has been such a wonderful experience for me. He has also taken such good care of me. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with these days, but he does so with love and patience. I could not have asked for a better husband. My love for him has increased a hundredfold since Charlie's birth.
Charlie also has changed so much since he was born. He was 8 lbs 3 oz at birth, and at his weigh-in last week, he was 11 lbs 7 oz. He (obviously) is putting on weight rapidly, and to me, he doesn't even really look like a newborn. He is outgrowing his diapers and diaper covers and clothes at an alarming rate, but he does still fit into some 0-3 month sizes (but probably not for long). He eats a hell of a lot. He still goes from sleepy to enraged in about five seconds. He has so much personality, but then again, he's been that way since the day he was born. He's able to hold his head up for about thirty seconds and can turn it from side to side, and now objects are starting to catch his attention. He's also starting to pay more attention to me, and he is much more alert than he was when he was born.
The newborn stage is tough. In addition to the sleep deprivation and crazy hormones, there's this little lack of interaction problem. Newborns exist solely to be taken care of, and the parent-child relationship is extremely one-sided. I know it sounds like I'm stating a given, but it's something I really didn't think about before. Turns out this little tidbit is huge!
Even so, I find myself sad at times to see how fast Charlie is growing. I am so happy that he's thriving, but there are so many things about his newborn self that I just love and that I never want him to stop doing. I love his newborn reflexes and how he throws his arms out at any given time. I love the smell of his head. I love how soft his skin and hair are. I love how he loves chewing on his hands. I love how properly he crosses his hands on his chest while he's being fed. I love how he smacks his lips together once he's done eating. I love how he kicks when he's upset. I love how he snorts when he cries.
He is just such a sweet, funny, amazingly adorable boy. I don't know how I ever existed without him.
Happy one month, buddy. I love you so much!