30 weeks

Today I am 30 weeks pregnant. I am three-quarters of the way through my pregnancy. I simply cannot believe it.

I opted to not look at the camera for this pic, because there was just too much Friday Night Ugly Face to deal with. Enjoy the awesomeness that is my profile.



Pregnancy-wise, this week was very challenging. It was one of those weeks where I found myself thinking, "I'm not sure how I can do 10 more weeks of this." And then, of course I felt guilty for thinking that way at all because I am truly so happy to be pregnant and to be a mother - and because I want Charlie to stay put for at least eight more weeks. I truly don't want him going anywhere yet - even to help me out. I guess even the greatest happinesses in life can be tainted by the reality of being in pain.

In my case, the pain has been physical, and it has become significantly worse over the past couple of weeks. This is pretty much par for the course for where I am in my pregnancy, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with, I'm afraid.

I expected that I would have back pain during pregnancy. I have a pre-existing condition, after all, and most pregnant women have back pain anyway. What I didn't prepare for was how constant the pain would be. I thought, "Oh, I can go to the massage therapist/chiropractor and have this taken care of and be good to go for a month," but I never took into account that I would be carrying around an extra 15 pounds and that the extra weight would definitely take its toll on my body (especially my back).

So at the request of my chiropractor, I started wearing a brace. Getting this thing to work with my current wardrobe has been an extreme source of frustration. It works best with jeans (or anything else with a full panel), which happen to be so uncomfortable to wear right now that they make me want to scream anyway. The pairs of pants that are most comfortable just can't accommodate the brace because their waistlines sit below my belly, so every time I sit down and then stand up, the brace ends up sticking out the back of my pants, which are at that point dangerously close to falling off.

Plus, the brace itself is uncomfortable. I wear my bella band underneath it so it doesn't irritate my skin, but the band ends up slipping down in the back. And let's not forget the heat factor. Wearing the brace essentially adds two extra layers of clothing, and fuck, I'm already burning up.

So yeah, I'm a hot mess. (But I refuse to give up on my comfy pants just yet. I will figure out a way, even if I have to wear suspenders to keep the damn things up. Because the brace really does help with the back/rib pain.)

On Monday I wore the brace to work, only finding that I had to take it off early in the day because of the pants issue. By the end of the day, my back and ribs were killing me, and I had started the dreaded sneezing, which ended up being Nasty Cold #3 of 2009. By the time I got home that evening, I was dangerously close to tears due to the pain and feeling sick.

On Tuesday I spent two measly hours at work and then came home, because I was a non-functioning, sneezing, snotty zombie. I spent the day in bed feeling absolutely miserable. I took numerous warm baths and showers to try to clear out my nasal passages, but nothing was working. I couldn't sleep, so I just laid in bed the entire day hating life. Things finally improved that night when my fever broke and I began to be able to breathe through my nose again.

I've been feeling much better since then, and I really hope there won't be another illness to deal with before Charlie is born. However, I know that the back pain is something that's going to be around for the rest of my pregnancy, and so I have to figure out a way to manage it.

And I will. I just needed to complain a bit about it first. (Okay, so it was a lot.)