36 weeks

I am 36 weeks pregnant, and it's now May, meaning my due date is this month. Holy shit! Where has the time gone?

Not only that, I am officially on maternity leave! Today was my first day off work, and let me tell you, it was a glorious day indeed. I stayed in bed, sleeping off and on, until 11 AM. I got up, made myself some lunch, watched a movie, napped on the couch, took a shower, watched another movie, and then hung out with Roy when he got home from work. I did absolutely nothing useful or productive, and I could not care less.

The timing to go on leave could not be better. Not only am I still mega-uncomfortable (I mean, everything including my hands hurts - that's just not right), if I had to hear a co-worker tell me how tired I look or how swollen I am, I may have screamed. It had been a long, long while (before this pregnancy, I mean) since people have been so rude about my appearance. It's like a return to puberty. What a mindfuck.

At the same time, so many people have said so many awesome things to me that the shitty things that these other losers say are almost kind of worth it.

Here's what I look like this week:



A funny story: this week a co-worker told me that I need to be wearing a mask because of the swine flu outbreak. I jokingly said that I was going to wear a pig nose instead. And then she said something like this, "You really need to watch what you say because when it comes to labor and delivery, all the negative feelings you have and the bad things you say are going to catch up with you."

So basically I'm going to have a kid with a pig nose. Or something. I'm still not sure exactly what she meant, other than she seemed kind of bothered that I didn't seem to take her too seriously. This is the same girl who told me that I needed to be careful about breastfeeding, because cats love breast milk and ours might get all up in Charlie's face and smother him because of the smell.

(Can you see why I can't be bothered with even going to work anymore? Oh well. She did bring me two big bags of baby clothes on Friday. And yes, she did include a couple of masks, which of course I am wearing every time I leave the house. On opposite day.)

So I saw the doctor yesterday and had an internal exam as well as the Group B Strep test done. It wasn't exactly the most fun I've ever had, but it wasn't terrible. Anyway, I'm not dilated at all, so everything's sealed up tight. I won't be surprised if Charlie makes a late debut, but I will be surprised if he's early.

Speaking of surprises, I have gained absolutely no weight since my last appointment. I'm holding steady at a 23 pound weight gain so far. I'll take it! And from here on out, I'll be seeing the doctor weekly. Crazy.

I plan on enjoying this last month fully. I want to enter into mommyhood as relaxed and rested as possible. This means that I'm going to try to get all my ducks in a row, but I'm also going to rest rest rest. Things are going to get crazy very very soon, so I'm going to enjoy the peace while it lasts.