Pre-Pregnancy Flashback: August 13, 2008

I've been going through some old drafts of mine and happened along this old post. It was written on December 4, 2007. Roy and I started actually trying for a baby immediately after.

And a year and a half after the writing of this post, I am gigantically pregnant! Yesterday I had a conversation with a cashier in Target about good timing for pregnancy. She told me, as everyone does, that I had timed my pregnancy so well since I will avoid being pregnant during the brutally hot summer. I told her timing had nothing to do with it and that if we had actually conceived the first month we started trying, I would've actually been due in September 2008, which, ironically, was the month I actually found out I was pregnant. So the "good timing" was actually due more to luck than anything. She was shocked to hear that it took almost a year for us to conceive.

I have no idea why I actually went into detail with the cashier; maybe because she seemed really naive or something, or maybe because she reminded me of myself (who was also naive) in the post below.

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August 13, 2008: That's what the estimated due date of our non-existent child would have been if Roy and I had conceived in November. We weren't trying, but I had just begun charting and realized we had an "oops" on my ovulation day (which I didn't realize was my ovulation day until 3 days after the fact). The possibility that we might have accidentally conceived excited us! Soon after, I really began to acknowledge my baby fever and wrote this post. I put it all out there without really putting it all out there.

I lurk on the baby boards on the Nest, but I probably will not become a regular poster until I am a decent way into my future pregnancy (whenever that may be). I wouldn't mind posting on these boards, except that people that know me also read those boards. My desire to have a child is not something that I feel like posting about day in and day out. Plus, I intend on keeping my future pregnancy under wraps for awhile - not to mention the process of getting pregnant itself. I'm not good at keeping my own secrets, but for some reason, I want this to be largely a secret. I don't even want my blog to become full of baby posts, so for now I will write about baby/pregnancy stuff when the mood strikes and actually post later. I also don't like cheesy things like tickers or blinkies or name polls.

Anyway, part of me really hoped and believed that I might be pregnant. I had all kinds of symptoms, but they ended up being menstrual symptoms. It's a good thing that I didn't get my hopes up. A lot of women do, and it's hell for them month after month. Many of them vent about it on the Nest or other public forums, but I don't feel like doing the same. It just feels too private to really talk about right now.

So maybe someday this will actually get posted. For now, it's going to remain a draft.