Tuesday TV Rant

This morning I realized something that I hadn't realized before.

I hate One Tree Hill. It makes me want to repeatedly pound my head against the wall. And then watch another episode of the show. I just can't. stop. watching.

One Tree Hill, when it comes down to it, makes me feel like shit about myself. Every single one of the characters is gorgeous. At 22 years old or so, Brooke has her own fashion line, Peyton has her own recording studio. Nathan has a basketball career, and Lucas has written and published two well-known novels. Nathan and Haley have, like, the best marriage ever with the cutest kid ever. I want to barf, seriously, every time I watch the show. Because I'm going to be 30 in less than a month, and I don't nearly have the resources or money that they do. Or the good hair and skin. Or the fashion sense. Or the ability to cheat on my partner and then be BFFs with him in the next episode. Damn, I suck.

The latest thing that has me completely and utterly pissed about this show is that Peyton is pregnant. Yay, right? Oh, no. Of course she has a terrible affliction that may kill her - and possibly the baby, too. What is this mysterious condition? Why, it's placenta previa!

(If you don't know what placenta previa is, please click on the link I've provided above. And you'll see how terribly life-threatening it is, oh em gee! On opposite day.)

Don't get me wrong - placenta previa is a valid condition, but it tends to resolve itself throughout one's pregnancy. I can't believe they picked placenta previa as the awful, horrible disease that is almost certain to kill Peyton - but wait! Peyton can't die! She is entirely too beautiful and special and strong to succumb to such trials in her pregnancy. However, the writers of the show will do anything to make us believe that she's going to die.

I hate feeling so manipulated.

I realize that even the best TV shows and movies and books and works of art are manipulative at their core; they are designed to make us feel something and blah blah blah. Everyone loves good drama, and I sure as hell am no exception. But why does One Tree Hill have to insult my intelligence so much? Did they think that any member of their audience would not know what placenta previa is? Do they really expect me to believe that Peyton's pregnancy's air time has been like one quarter of my pregnancy and yet she is closer to delivering her baby than I am?

Sadly, One Tree Hill is not the only show that is guilty of this. I'm beginning to loathe Grey's Anatomy. I am so tired of Merideth's voiceovers at the beginning and end of every episode. I'm sick of the outrageous medical cases. I'm sick of the drama. I want some good characters, not some retarded caricatures. (Disclaimer: I'm only on season four of Grey's Anatomy, so I guess all these things could have changed in the current season.)

With all the crappy movies that come out these days, it's great that there's so much good television out there - but I think that we need more shows like Six Feet Under that focus on real life and real people. That show was gritty and hard in a way that could never be softened by a mere voiceover at the end of the episode. I want more of that, dammit! (Or of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Lost, which may not be based in reality but are still awesome.)

So there you go - my Tuesday TV rant. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch some quality TV - Beverly Hills 90210, to be exact.